Why did he not ask earlier?” Judas believed he was not seen when it was mentioned, “one of you”; however, once Christ disclosed the truth, he then felt emboldened to question, trusting in the Master’s gentleness, hoping for compassion and not rebuke.’ It is noteworthy that when the other disciples asked, "Is it not I, Lord?" Judas instead poses, “Am I not, Rabbi?” The former shows profound reverence, while the latter lacks spiritual depth; the title he uses is merely respectful courtesy owed to any teacher, demonstrating that Judas speaks only out of superficial propriety,’ notes Philaret, Archbishop of Chernigov. Judas questions: ‘Am I not?’ He plays the hypocrite in front of his fellow disciples. Yet, what was he confronting within his own conscience? How difficult it must have been for the Heartbreaker to endure such a brazen inquiry! How could one respond to such a dreadful heart without righteous indignation? Yet, Thy divine grace, O Lord, responds to Judas with gentleness: “JESUS SAYS TO HIM: YOU SAY,” meaning he acknowledges within himself that he is indeed a traitor. Though one might have exclaimed, “O wicked and covert, vile and defiled one!”—having prepared yourself for evil for so long, rejecting Me, entering into dark dealings, agreeing for the pieces of silver, and having faced reproach from your wife—how dare you still inquire? Yet Christ spoke no such words. What did He declare? "Thou hast said," thereby exemplifying patience and restraint,’ according to St. John Chrysostom. The Lord’s response to Judas was given so quietly and gently that it seems none heard Him, or comprehended except for Judas, as evidenced in the ensuing events, remarks Innocent, Archbishop of Kherson. The traitor bore the weight of reproach in silence, fearing greater disgrace if his betrayal were unveiled. The other disciples ceased their curiosity, having perceived that the Master was not inclined to expose the traitor outright. Only Peter remained unsettled, tormented by the possibility that the traitor whom the Master had mentioned might sit alongside him, or by the darker thought that perhaps he himself could be the one under suspicion or that he could soon face some grave temptation (he had already been called Satan once). This unsettling contemplation disturbed him. To unveil the truth, he signaled to John, who reclined close to the Savior, urging him to ask quietly, “Who is this man about whom He speaks?” John, bending toward Jesus' breast, immediately asked, “Who is the betrayer?” No one heard or took notice of his question, except Peter and likely Judas himself, who, feeling guilty, was wary of everyone. “The one,” Jesus replied softly, “to whom I will give a piece of bread after I have dipped it” (John 13:26). He dipped a piece into the dish and offered it to Judas Iscariot. This act of sharing food was the last opportunity for repentance for the doomed apostle. Yet within Iscariot's heart, the opposite unfolded. Following the bread, as John noted, Satan promptly entered him. The façade of gentleness and friendship was consumed by the fire of rebuke blazing within him, and the traitor's demeanor darkened grievously. Holy companionship became intolerable for a person possessing a heart filled with evil; an unseen force began to draw him away. He perceived all that transpired within the soul of the son of perdition and chose not to endure longer in the futile presence of the traitor: “What you must do, do it quickly” (John 13:27), He instructed, providing a justifiable reason for Judas to depart without raising the suspicion of the others. In the meantime, this gentle rebuke to one abandoned by grace must have struck him as profound censure. “I will not delay in my deeds,” he resolved, and thus departed. “And it was night,” St. John notes, indicating it was not before nine in the evening by our reckoning. The disciples believed Judas had been dispatched to acquire provisions for the feast or perhaps to give to the poor in observance of the feast. While shopping late at night posed challenges, believing he was in search of trim people during such a sacred time was easier than confronting the horrific reality that Judas of Iscariot had gone directly to Caiaphas from the Passover supper, after the washing of the Master’s feet, to collect the silver pieces. Reflecting on Judas’ betrayal, St. John Chrysostom remarks, “‘Some may argue: if it was foretold that Christ would suffer, why is Judas condemned? He merely fulfilled what was prophesied.’ However, he did not act with the intent of realization, but from malice. If one were to disregard the broader context, they would absolve the adversary of culpability. But that cannot be the case. Both are deserving of endless torment, even if all else were redeemed. It is not Judas’ treachery that achieved our salvation, but rather the wisdom of Christ and His profound providence, turning the ill intentions of others to our benefit. You may wonder: if Judas had not betrayed Him, would not someone else have done so? If all had acted righteously, wouldn’t the fulfillment of our salvation come to pass? Let it not be! For the Wise One knew precisely how to orchestrate our redemption, even without betrayal. His wisdom is immeasurable and unfathomable. For this reason, lest anyone believe that Judas played a role in the architecture of our salvation, Jesus refers to him as the most wretched man…’”
THEOSIS