John Chrysostom

Conversation 33

The Significance of Love. - The work of the devil is to alienate people from each other. - Love overcomes everything. 1 Corinthians 13:4. Love is longsuffering, merciful, love does not envy, love does not exalt, is not proud. 1. Having proved that without love there is no great use of faith, nor of knowledge, nor of prophecy, nor of the gift of tongues, nor of the gift of healings, nor of other gifts, nor even of perfect life and martyrdom, (the apostle) describes, as was necessary, its unparalleled beauty, adorning its image, as if with some colors, with various kinds of virtue, and carefully combining all its parts. Therefore, beloved, be attentive to what is said, and enter into every word with great care, in order to see both the perfection of the subject and the art of the painter. See where he began, and what he put as the first cause of all good things. What is that? Longsuffering; it is the root of all wisdom; therefore also the Wise One says: “A patient man has much reason, but an irritable man shows foolishness” (Proverbs 14:29); and further, comparing this virtue with a strong city, he says that it is stronger than it. It is an indestructible weapon, an unshakable pillar, easily repelling all attacks. As a spark that fell into the sea, does not cause him any harm, but immediately extinguishes, so all the unexpected, striking long-suffering soul, soon disappears, and it does not perturb. Longsuffering is harder than anything else; whether you point to the army, to money, to horses, to walls, to weapons, and to anything else, nothing can compare with longsuffering. He who possesses anything of this kind is often overcome by anger, falls like a weak child, and fills everything with noise and confusion; but he who is longsuffering, as if abiding in a wharf, enjoys deep tranquility; if you harm him, you will not move this stone; if you hurt him, you will not shake this pillar; if you strike him, you will not crush this adamantine; therefore he is called longsuffering⁵⁴, because he has as if a long and great soul, and long is called and great. Meanwhile this virtue is born of love, and to those who have acquired it and use it, it brings great benefit. Do not tell me that people lost, doing (longsuffering) evil and not undergoing for that evil, become worse; it is not from his longsuffering, but from those themselves, who use it not as they should. Therefore do not speak to me of them, but think of those who are more meek, who are thus greatly benefited; when they, when they do evil, do not suffer evil for it, they, marveling at the patience of him who suffers, receive the greatest lesson of any kind of wisdom. However, (the apostle) does not stop at this, but adds other perfections of love: it is, he says, “merciful”. Since there are men who use longsuffering, not for their own any-mindedness, but for vengeance on those who offend them, being tormented within themselves, he says that love has not this defect also; hence he adds: “is merciful.” Those who love do not deal meekly with those who flame with anger, to increase the flame of anger, but to tame it and extinguish it, and not only by manly patience, but also by coaxing and exhorting, they heal the wound and cure the ulcer of anger. “No envy.” It happens that another is patient, but envious, from which his virtue loses its perfection. But love is far from this. “It does not exalt itself,” i.e., it does not act recklessly. It makes the lover prudent, steadfast, and thorough. Recklessness is peculiar to men who love shamefully; but he who loves with true love is entirely free from it; when there is no anger in the heart, there can be no recklessness or impertinence; love, abiding in the soul, like some skillful tiller of the soil, does not allow any of these thorns to grow. “Not proud.” We see that many are proud of their very virtues, i.e., that they are not envious, not wicked, not cowardly, not foolish, not reckless; these vices are connected not only with riches and poverty, but also with the kindest qualities of nature; but love perfectly purifies all. Note: the long-suffering man is not always yet merciful; if he be not merciful, his good quality becomes a vice, and may turn into remonstrance; but love, delivering the medicine, i.e., mercy, keeps the virtue pure. Also the merciful is often frivolous; but love corrects this defect also. “Love,” says he, ”is not vaunted, nor proud. He who is merciful and long-suffering is often proud; but love eradicates this vice also. 2. See how (the apostle) presents in praise of her not only what she has, but also what she has not: she, he says, on the one hand produces virtues, on the other destroys vices, or, better, does not allow them to arise. He did not say: though she has envy, yet she overcomes envy, or: though she has pride, yet she tames that passion, but, “does not envy, does not vaunt, is not proud”; and what is especially marvelous, she does good without effort, without struggle or resistance, she raises a trophy. He who has it, it does not make him labor to attain the crown, but without labor it delivers him the reward, because where there is no passion opposing the virtuous disposition, there what labor can there be? “He shall not be disorderly” (1 Corinthians 13:5). What am I saying, continues (the apostle), that she is not proud? She is so far from this passion, that, even enduring extreme calamities for her beloved, she does not consider it dishonorable. I did not say again that although she suffers dishonor, she bears it courageously, but that she does not even feel dishonor at all. If silver lovers, enduring all kinds of trouble for their profit, not only are not ashamed, but still rejoice, the more so who has a praiseworthy love for the good of loved ones will not refuse anything like this, and not only will not refuse, but even not ashamed when he endures anything. However, lest we should be led to an example of a vicious deed, let us look to Christ in this respect, and see the truth of what has been said. Our Lord Jesus Christ was spat upon and scourged by wretched slaves, and not only did not consider it a dishonor, but rejoiced and glorified in it; He brought a robber and a man-killer with Himself into paradise before others; He conversed with a harlot, and in the presence of all His accusers, and did not consider it shameful, but even allowed her to kiss His feet, to shower His body with tears, and to wipe it with her hair, and all this before the eyes of enemies and adversaries, because love does not run amok. Therefore fathers, even if they were wiser and more eloquent than all, are not ashamed to babble with their children, and no one who looks at it condemns them, but on the contrary, it seems so good that it is even praised; If again the children are wicked, they patiently try to correct them, observe them, keep them from doing bad things, and are not ashamed, for love does not run amok, but as if with golden wings it covers all the misdeeds of the beloved. So Jonathan also loved David, and therefore, having heard the words of his father: “son of harlots, the son of prostitutes, woman-bred ”55 (1 Samuel 20:30), he was not ashamed, although the words are filled with great reproach; they exactly mean the following: the son of prostitutes, violently addicted to men and indulging in all passing, pampered, weak, having nothing masculine in himself and living to the dishonor of himself and your mother who gave birth to you. What is it? Was he grieved by this, ashamed and ashamed of his beloved? On the contrary, he even boasted of his love; though (Saul) was then king, Jonathan was the son of a king, and David was a fugitive and a wanderer, yet in all this he was not ashamed of his love, for love is not disorderly. It is truly astonishing that it not only does not allow grief and sorrow in the case of offense, but also encourages rejoicing; hence Jonathan, after he had received the crown, went and embraced David, for love knows no dishonor, and even boasts of what another is ashamed of. It is shameful for her not to be able to love, or to love without being exposed to dangers and enduring everything for those she loves. However, when I say: all, then do not think that I mean and harmful, for example, if someone would help a young man in (criminal) love for a woman, or asked to do something else harmful. Such a person does not love, as I proved to you before with the example of the Egyptian woman. He who only loves, who desires useful things for the beloved; and he who does not seek good, even if he says a thousand times that he loves, is more hostile than all enemies. So once Rebekah, being strongly attached to her son, decided even to steal, and was not ashamed or afraid of being denounced - and there was a great danger ahead - but even when her son objected to her, she said: “on me let your curse be upon me, my son” (Gen.27:13). 3. Do you see in the wife an apostolic soul? As Paul, - if it is possible to compare small things with great things, - was willing to be anathematized for the Jews, so she dared even to be cursed, if only her son would receive a blessing. The good she gave to him - for she could not herself participate with him in the blessing - but the evil she was ready to take upon herself alone, and at the same time she rejoiced, hastened when danger threatened, and was distressed at the slowness of the work, fearing lest Esau, having preceded Jacob, should make her wise disposition in vain. Wherefore she expresses herself briefly, prompts the young man, and, without refuting his words, expresses a thought sufficient to convince him; she did not say, “You speak it in vain, and fear in vain, your father is old and has no sight,” but what? “Upon me let thy curse be upon me, my son”; only do not upset matters, do not let out the prey, do not lose the treasure. And was not Jacob himself a laborer for two seven years with his kinsman? Was he not subjected to ridicule after being deceived, besides slavery? What? Did he feel ridicule, did he consider it a dishonor to himself that he, being free, coming from free parents and having received a noble education, was a slave to his relatives, whereas it is especially offensive if one suffers humiliation from his relatives? No,-and the reason was love, which even made for him a long time brief: “they appeared,” says (Scripture), “to him in a few days” (Gen. 29:20). So far was he from being offended and ashamed of his slavery! Therefore rightly says the blessed Paul: “love is not disorderly: it does not seek its own, it is not vexed.” Having said: “is not disorderly,” he also shows in what way it does not suffer dishonor. In what way? She does not seek her own. The beloved is everything to her, and she counts it a dishonor to herself when she cannot deliver him from dishonor, so that if it is possible to help the beloved by her own dishonor, she does not consider it a dishonor to herself: the beloved is to him the same as himself. Love is such that the lover and the beloved are no longer two separate persons, but one person, which nothing but love can do. Therefore do not seek your own that you may find your own; he who seeks his own does not find his own. For this reason Paul also said, “seek no one's own, but each one the benefit of another” (1 Corinthians 10:24). Each one's benefit lies in the neighbor's benefit, and the neighbor's benefit lies in his own benefit. Just as he who buries his own gold in his neighbor's house, unless he is willing to go and look for it and dig it up there, will never see it, so here, whoever is not willing to seek his own benefit in his neighbor's benefit will not receive crowns. God has arranged it so that we may be bound to one another. When someone encourages a lazy child to follow his brother, and he does not want to do it himself, he gives his brother something he loves and pleasant for the child, so that the child, wanting to get it, follows him, which really happens - so also here God has given useful things for everyone to his neighbor, so that we may have fellowship with each other and not be separated. If you wish, you may see this also in us who preach: what is useful to me is in you, and what is useful to you is in me; for example, it is useful for you to know what is pleasing to God; but this is entrusted to me, that you may receive it from me, and therefore you are compelled to resort to me; and it is useful for me that you become better, - I shall receive a great reward for it, - but this depends on you: therefore I have need to watch over you, that you may become better, and thus I may receive from you what is useful to me. Wherefore also Paul said, “For who is our hope...? Is it not also you?” (1 Thess.2:19). And again, you are “our hope, and joy, and the crown of my praise.” So Paul's joy was the disciples, and they rejoiced in his joy; hence he wept when he saw those who were perishing. On the other hand, their favor was in Paul; hence he said, “for the hope of Israel I am encumbered with these bonds” (Acts 28:20). And again: “Therefore I endure all things for the sake of the elect, that they also may obtain salvation” (2 Timothy 2:10). The same can be seen in the affairs of life: neither “the wife,” says (the apostle), “is not ruler over her own body,” nor the husband, but the wife of the husband, and the husband of the wife (1 Corinthians 7:4). So also we, when we want to bind several people together, do the same thing: we do not let anyone dispose of himself, but, having made a chain of them, we make one dependent on another, and another on a third. Can you not see the same thing in government? The judge does not sit down to judge for his own sake, but for the benefit of his neighbor; the subordinates, by pleasing, obeying, and in all other ways, benefit their superiors; the soldiers take up arms for us, because they are exposed to dangers for us; and we labor for them, because from us they receive maintenance. 4. If you say that every one acts thus, seeking his own benefit, I say the same thing,-only his own benefit is attained by means of another's. If a warrior did not fight for those who give him substance, no one would render him this favor; and conversely, if they did not give substance to the warrior, no one would defend them. Do you see how love extends to everything and arranges everything? But do not be lazy to consider this whole golden chain. Having said: “does not seek his own,” (the apostle) again speaks of the benefits that come from love. What are these goods? “It is not vexed, it thinks no evil.” See again how it not only eradicates vices, but does not even allow them to have a beginning. Nor did he say: though irritated, yet overcomes irritation, but: “does not irritate”: nor did he say also: does not do evil, but: “does not think”; not only does not commit, but does not even conceive anything evil against the beloved. And indeed, how can she do evil, or be vexed, when she does not allow even a worse thought? And here is the source of love. “She does not rejoice in unrighteousness” (1 Corinthians 13:6), that is, she does not rejoice when others suffer evil; and not only this, but there is much more in her: ‘but she rejoices in the truth,’ that is, she rejoices over those who are well-adjusted in life, as Paul says: ‘rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep’ (Romans 12:15). Therefore she does not envy, therefore she is not proud: the goods of others she recognizes as her own. Do you see how love makes its pet almost an angel? If he has no anger, is pure from envy, and is free from every pernicious passion, it is evident that he is already above human nature, and has attained the impassibility of angels. But (Paul) is not content with this, but finds something more to say; the most important he always expounds afterwards. Love, he says, “covers everything” (1 Corinthians 13:7), according to its longsuffering and gentleness, whatever unfortunate and grievous things happen, even if they are offenses, even if they are beatings, even if they are death, or something similar. This can also be seen from the example of the blessed David. What could be heavier than to see a son resentful, seeking power and thirsting for his father's blood? But the blessed (David) endured even this, and would not even utter a reproachful word against the father-killer, but, leaving all other things to the commanders, ordered his life to be preserved: so strong was his foundation of love! Wherefore (saith the apostle), “He covereth all things.” With these words he expresses the power of love, and the further words the goodness of it: “hopes all things,” says he, “hopes all things, believes all things, endures all things. What does it mean: “hopes all things”? Without despairing, he expects everything good from the beloved person, and even though he is worse, he does not cease to correct him, to nurture and care for him. “Believes everything": not merely hopes, but with confidence, because she loves much; and though beyond expectation no good things happen, and even the beloved would become worse, she endures even this: everything, she says, endures. “Love never ceases” (1 Corinthians 13:8). Do you see what it has completed and what is especially excellent in this gift? What exactly does it mean, “never ceases”? It does not cease, it does not weaken because it endures, because it loves all things. He who loves can never hate, no matter what happens: this is the greatest good of love. Such was Paul; that is why he said: “Will I not stir up jealousy in my kinsmen according to the flesh” (Romans 11:14), and did not cease to hope; and Timothy exhorted in this way: “But the servant of the Lord should not quarrel, but be friendly to all, teachable, not unkind, with gentleness to instruct opponents, whether God will not give them repentance to the knowledge of the truth” (2 Timothy 2:24-25). How, you say, should we not hate even our enemies and the Gentiles? We should hate them, but not them, but their doctrine, not man, but corrupt life and corrupt will. Man is the work of God, and error is the work of the devil. Therefore do not mix the things of God with the things of the devil. The Jews blasphemed, persecuted, insulted, and spoke many evil things about Christ, but did Paul, who loved Christ more than anyone else, hate them? No; on the contrary, he loved them and did everything for them; then he said, “my heart's desire and prayer to God” for them “for salvation” (Romans 10:1); then, “I wish I myself were excommunicated from Christ” for them (Romans 9:3). So also Ezekiel, seeing their perdition, said, “O Lord God, wilt Thou destroy all the remnant of Israel?” (Ezek.9:8). And Moses also said, “forgive them their sin” (Ex.32:32). Why does David say: “Shall I not hate those who hate You, O Lord, and abhor those who rebel against You? With full hatred I hate them: they are my enemies” (Psalm 138:21-22). Not everything in David's Psalms is said by David himself; so they say: “I live by the tents of Kidar” (Psalm 119:5); and also: “by the rivers of Babylon, there we sat and wept” (Psalm 136:1), - meanwhile he himself did not see neither Babylon, nor the villages of Kidar. On the other hand, from us (Christians) is now required of us (Christians) a higher kind of equanimity; thus, when the disciples asked for fire to come down, as in the time of Elijah, Christ said: “ye know not what spirit ye are” (Lk.9:55). 5. Then the Jews were commanded to hate not only wickedness, but also the wicked themselves, lest their friendship with them should give them occasion for iniquity; therefore they were forbidden to associate with the Gentiles, and to mingle with them, and barriers were put between them on every side; But now, when (God) has brought us to the highest common wisdom, and has set us above such danger, he commands us to enter into fellowship and conversation with them, because we are not harmed by them, but they are benefited by us. What should we do? It is not to hate, but to show mercy; for if you hate, how can you convert the one who is going astray, how can you pray for the infidel? And that it is necessary to pray for him, about that, listen, as Paul says: “Therefore first of all I ask to make prayers, petitions, supplications, thanksgivings for all men” (1 Timothy 2:1); but then not all were believers, as everyone knows. And further, “for kings, and for all rulers” (1 Timothy 2:2); but they were wicked and lawless, as is also known. Then, showing the reason why it is necessary to pray, he adds: “for it is good and pleasing to our Savior God, who wants all men to be saved and to attain to the knowledge of the truth” (1Tim.2:3-4). Wherefore, when it happened for a Gentile wife to be married to a believer, he did not dissolve the marriage; meanwhile, what is closer than a husband to his wife? “They shall be,” says (Scripture), ‘one flesh’ (Gen. 2:24), and therefore there is great love and fervent affection between them. If we begin to hate the wicked and lawless, then, extending further, we will hate sinners; and going this way, little by little we will separate from most of the brethren, or better, from all, because there is no one without sin. If we should hate the enemies of God, we should hate not only the wicked, but also sinners; and if we do so, we shall be worse than beasts, turning away from all, and puffed up with pride, like the Pharisee. But Paul commanded not so, - but how? “Reason with the impenitent, comfort the fainthearted, support the weak, be longsuffering to all” (1 Thessalonians 5:14). How, you say, does he say, “But if anyone will not hearken to our word in this epistle, let him be reprimanded and not associate with him” (2 Thess. 3:14)? True, this is said of the brethren; but not simply, but also with meekness; do not leave out what follows, add also what is said next. Namely, having said: “do not communicate,” he added: ‘but do not count him for an enemy, but admonish him as a brother’ (2 Thess. 3:15). Do you see how he commands us to hate the evil (work) and not the person? The devil's work is to alienate us from one another; he tries hard to exterminate love, so as to cut off the way to correction, and to keep him in error, and you in enmity, and thus bar the way to salvation. If the physician will hate and flee the sick man, and the sick man turn away from the physician, can the sick man recover when he will not call upon the physician, and the physician will not come to him? Why, then, tell me, do you turn away and flee from him? Is it because he is wicked? But that is why it is necessary to come and heal, to restore the sick man. Though he be afflicted with an unhealable disease, you are commanded to do your work. Judas also was possessed with an unhealing disease, but God did not cease to heal him; therefore you also do not faint. Though with all diligence thou couldst not deliver him from his wickedness, yet thou shalt be rewarded as if thou hadst delivered him, and shalt make him marvel at thy meekness, and thus God will be glorified in every way. Though thou work miracles, though thou raise the dead, though thou do any other such thing, the Gentiles will never marvel at thee so much as when they see thee meek, kind, and courteous; and this is no small matter, for thus many may at last fall away from vice. Nothing can attract like love. Because of the other, i.e. signs and wonders, they may envy you, but because of it (love) they will wonder and love, and by loving they will accept little by little the truth. But if (the heathen) is not soon to become a believer, do not be surprised, do not be in a hurry, do not demand everything suddenly, but let him praise and love for the time being, and then he will come to it little by little. But to make you see clearly how important it is, listen to how Paul himself justified himself before the unfaithful judge: “I consider myself happy,” he said, “that today I can defend myself before you” (Acts 26:2). 2), he spoke not out of flattery, - no, - but wishing to achieve benefit by meekness; and partially achieved, the judge was captivated by the one who was the defendant, and this victory was proclaimed by the captive himself, saying with a loud voice in the presence of all: “you do not persuade me a little to become a Christian” (Acts 26:28). 6. What of Paul? He spreads his net even more widely and says, “I pray God that . not only you, but all who hear me today, be made like me apart from these bonds” (Acts 26:29). What do you say, Paul: apart from the bonds? What boldness will you have if you are ashamed of them, if you avoid them, and before so many people? Do you not boast of them everywhere in your epistles, calling yourself a prisoner, and pointing to them as a diadem? Why do you now evade the bonds? I do not shirk, he says, and I am not ashamed, but I condescend to the weakness of others, because they can not yet accept what I boast; and I learned from my Lord “not to put a new patch” to the old garment (Matthew 9:16); therefore I said so. They still have a poor understanding of our doctrine and are hostile against the cross; therefore, if I add more bonds, their hatred will increase further; therefore I have separated them to make the doctrine acceptable. It seems to them a shameful thing to be bound, because they have not yet tasted our glory; therefore it is necessary to be lenient. When they learn to be gentle, then they will know the beauty of chains and the glory of bonds. Talking to others, he calls suffering a gift of grace: “It has been given to you for Christ's sake, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His sake” (Phlp.1:29); and in the present case, it was only necessary to wish that the listeners would not be ashamed of the cross; therefore, he extends forward gradually. When someone introduces another into the royal palaces, he does not show him the inner rooms before he has seen the front and the outer ones, because otherwise he will not find the palaces amazing, if he does not recognize everything when he goes inside. So shall we treat the Gentiles, with condescension, with love; she is a great instructor; she can turn away from error, and correct morals, and bring to common sense, and make men out of stones. If you want to know its power, then imagine a man timid, fearful and trembling before the shadow, or angry, rude and more like a beast than a man, or lustful, voluptuous and devoted to all vices, and give him into the hands of love, bring him into this school, and you will soon see how this fearful and timid will become courageous, generous and courageous for everything; And what is most marvelous of all, this will happen, not because his substance is changed, but because love discovers its power in the timid soul itself; here it is as if someone, making a sword not of iron, but of lead, and without changing the substance of the lead, brought it to the point of being able to do what iron can do. Look: Jacob was a modest man, sat at home, knew no labors and dangers, led a quiet and carefree life, and like a maiden in a terem, so he mostly stayed to keep his house, and from the marketplace, from all the noise and everything that happens in the marketplace, he withdrew and lived constantly away from troubles and worries. What? When the fire of love inflamed him, this humble man who never left his house, look how brave and industrious he became; hear about it not from me, but from the patriarch himself. Rebuke his father-in-law, he says: “Behold, twenty years I have been with thee” (Genesis 31:38). And in what position was he twenty years? “I languished,” he adds, ‘by day from the heat, and by night from the cold, and my sleep fled from my eyes’ (Genesis 31:40). Such was a modest man, who did not leave his house and had a quiet life before. And that he was timid is evident from the fact that he was deathly afraid when he was waiting for Esau. Then, see how the same fearful man became more courageous than a lion because of love: he became a bulwark in front of all, as if he were a bulwark, he was ready to be the first to meet the cruel and breathing man, who, as he thought, breathed murder, and to defend his wives with his own body; whom he feared and dreaded, with whom he wanted to fight first, because love for his wives was stronger than fear. Do you see how the timid suddenly became courageous, not because he changed his temper, but because he was strengthened by love? He was timid even afterward, as is evident from the fact that he went from place to place. But let no one think that this is said as a reproach to the righteous; timidity is not a vice; it comes from nature, and it is reprehensible only to do something indecent because of timidity. It is possible for one who is timid by nature to become courageous by godliness. What was Moses like? Was he not afraid of an Egyptian, and did he not flee and go beyond (Egypt)? Meanwhile this fugitive, who had not endured the threat of one man, after he had tasted the sweetness of love, was boldly and without compulsion ready to perish with his lovers: “Forgive them,” said he, “forsake their sin; and if not,” said he, “forsake their sin; and if not, forgive them,” said he. their sin, and if not, blot me out of Thy book, in which Thou hast written” (Exodus 32:32). On the other hand, that love makes the cruel meek and the impenitent chaste, there is no need to give examples of this; it is known to all. Though one may be more fierce than any beast, love makes him more humble than any lamb. Who, for example, was fiercer and more fierce than Saul? But when his daughter let his enemy go, he did not even say a harsh word to her; he who had killed almost all the priests for David, when he learned how his daughter had let him out of the house, did not insult her even with a word, while cunning was used against him; this is because he was restrained by the strongest bond - love (for his daughter). Making meek, love also makes people chaste; he who loves his wife as he should love, even if he is extremely voluptuous, out of love for her will not look at another: “strong, - says (Scripture) - like death, love” (Song 8:6). Hence, lasciviousness comes from nothing else than from a lack of love. Therefore, if love is the culprit of all virtue, let us plant it with all diligence in our souls, that it may bring us many benefits, and that we may continually gather its abundant fruits, always blooming and never withering; then we shall also attain the eternal benefits, which we may all enjoy, through the grace and humanity of our Lord Jesus Christ, with whom to the Father, with the Holy Spirit, glory, power, honor, now and ever, and unto ages of ages. Amen.