THEOSISAmbrose of Milan
God bestowed upon the fathers the grace to declare reverence as essential for their children. Consequently, the teachings passed down from the fathers become the teachings of the children. Therefore, honor your father, and may he bestow blessings upon you. The righteous honor their fathers out of gratitude, while the ungrateful do so out of fear. A father may lack material wealth to bequeath to his children, yet he can leave a legacy of final blessings that will bestow upon his descendants abundant gifts of sanctification (Gen. 49:1-28). Being blessed carries far more significance than mere riches.
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It is noteworthy that today marks the anniversary of my priesthood. The episcopal consecration of St. Ambrose occurred on December 7, 374; this sermon is dated for Sunday afternoon, December 7, 385. Reflect on the initial command of the law. Each year, the priesthood seems to commence anew, renewed by the passage of time. The commandment is beautifully articulated: "Honor your father and mother," for you are my guardians, having entrusted me with the episcopate. I view you, who listen and act upon the words of God, as both my children and parents: individually children, unitedly parents. Indeed, I am glad to refer to you, who heed the word of God, as both children and parents: children, as it is written, "Come, children, hear me" (Psalm 33:12); parents, since the Lord Himself inquired, "Who are my mother and my brothers?" (Mark 3:33). He replied, "My mother and my brethren are those who hear the word of God and do it" (Lk. 8:21).
It's remarkable, therefore, that the law first commanded us to "love the Lord your God" (Deut. 6:5; Matt. 22:37; Mk. 12:30; Lk. 10:27) and "you shall love your neighbor" (Lev. 19:18; Lk. 10:27), and then added, "Honor your father and your mother" (Ex. 20:12; Lk. 18:20). This is the initial step in godliness, as God intended for them to be your creators. Honor them through obedience, refraining from any expression of disrespect, for a parent's honor can be undermined even by a mere facial gesture. Yet, it is insufficient merely to not offend your parents; the law stipulates that they should not endure insult. "Whoever curses his father or mother must be put to death" (Exod. 21:17; Matt. 15:4). True righteousness obliges you to honor them. It is one thing to adhere to the law, and another to uphold the duty of filial love. Honor your parents as the Son of God honored His: He was obedient to them (Luke 2:51). If God showed obedience to His servants, how much more should you be obedient to your own parents? Christ honored Joseph and Mary not merely out of natural obligation but from a place of filial love. He honored God the Father as no one else could, obedient even to the point of death (Phil. 2:8). Therefore, you should also honor your parents.
However, honor manifests not only in reverence but also in generosity. Honor widows, true widowers (1 Tim. 5:3), for honor is reflected in giving what is deserved. Honor your father, honor your mother! Even if you provide for your mother, it cannot compensate for the pains she endured for your sake. You have not repaid her for the suffering she bore when carrying you, nor for the nourishment she lovingly offered you, nor for the sacrifices she made to ensure your well-being. For your benefit, she abstained from certain foods; for you, she chose nourishment over her desires, often enduring hunger herself, and you leave her wanting! O son, consider the judgment you bring upon yourself if you neglect to care for your parent! Everything you possess is owed to her, including your very existence. What condemnation awaits you if the Church provides for those you refuse to aid? The apostle remarked, "If any faithful man or faithful woman has widows, they should take care of them and not burden the Church" (1 Tim. 5:16). This applies to outsiders—what of your own parents?
Our urging came not merely from our conversation but was prompted by your mother's pleas. We chose to admonish you publicly rather than confront you privately. If our words do not reach your heart, may your conscience feel the weight of shame. Do not permit your parents to rely on the generosity of others; do not let them suffer from the meager provisions of the needy! If not out of gratitude or for salvation, at least provide for them from a sense of shame. Are you not embarrassed when you enter the church to see your aged mother reaching out to strangers, or your forsaken daughter begging from others while you pass by adorned in fine clothing and accessories? What will you say if she turns to you and demands the natural debt of care, the provision that is due to a parent? Will you serve others while neglecting your own? And if they refuse your offerings, "First go and feed your mother!" They, despite their poverty, refuse unholy charity. Have you not heard the parable of the rich man, who adorned himself in luxurious garments, feasting while Lazarus begged for crumbs at his table? He faced eternal torment because he failed to share with a beggar. If neglecting to aid strangers is a severe offense, how much more culpable is it to turn away from your own parents? Yet you argue that your charitable contributions, which could have aided your parents, are better directed toward the Church. God does not desire gifts that emerge from the neglect of parental hunger. The Lord countered the Jews who reproached His disciples for eating without washing their hands, stating, "If anyone says, 'This is a gift to God,' he has not honored his father and mother" (Matthew 15:5-6).
It is not without cause that we have overlooked the complexity of these teachings. The Jews, adhering to human tradition, neglected the precepts of God, while the disciples, valuing divine law, overlooked the customs of men by not washing their hands when partaking of bread. Jesus had washed their hands, thus they required no additional cleansing. He who has been baptized needs no further washing (Eph. 4:5). The Church's cleansing is sufficient. The disciples, therefore, sought spiritual purity rather than bodily cleanliness, which was criticized by the Jews. Yet the Lord adeptly responded, highlighting that they focused on trivial matters while neglecting the essentials. He questioned them, "Why do you say to your father or mother, whom the law commands to honor, 'Give to God what you would use from me'?" (Matt. 15:5). This indicates that when a father or mother in need solicits help from their child, it has become customary for one to escape their responsibility by claiming it is a gift to God, so that a God-fearing parent might hesitate to accept what is owed to them. However, this is merely an excuse to mask greed, while the divine tradition dictates the necessity of providing for one's parents. If the divine commandment prescribes death for cursing a parent (Exod. 21:17), how infinitely more severe is the sin of a parent going hungry?
God curbs acts of empty ostentation. Many seek the praise of men by offering to the Church what they have withheld from their families, whereas charity must commence from duty towards one's household. Provide first for your parents, also support the needy, and give to your priest from the earthly abundance you possess so that you may receive spiritual blessings in return. He who honors will himself be honored. Recognize that he, in receiving, also gives, not as a supplicant, but with the intent to return with greater blessings. Provide for the needy to find peace, so that you can also partake of rest by giving to those in need. Scripture teaches to honor parents, yet also allows for their abandonment if they obstruct the sanctity of a devout soul.