The Church Fathers on this verse

Exodus 20:12Meaning & Commentary from the Church Fathers

Honour thy father and thy mother, that thou mayst be longlived upon the land which the Lord thy God will give thee.

Douay-Rheims

כַּבֵּ֥ד אֶת־אָבִ֖יךָ וְאֶת־אִמֶּ֑ךָ לְמַ֙עַן֙ יַאֲרִכ֣וּן יָמֶ֔יךָ עַ֚ל הָאֲדָמָ֔ה אֲשֶׁר־יְהוָ֥ה אֱלֹהֶ֖יךָ נֹתֵ֥ן לָֽךְ׃

Hebrew (Masoretic text)

The Church Fathers on this verse

10 Church Fathers comment on this verse · 11 commentaries

John Chrysostom

4th centuryChurch Father

The authority that parents hold over their children is a significant matter. This honor is a result of the conditions of birth. Therefore, the wise say, "As unto lords, he shall serve them that begat him” (Sir. 3:7). The rationale follows: "What canst thou render unto them as they have rendered unto thee?" (Sir. 7:30). But what can a son truly provide to his father? He can give nothing greater than his existence, since a son cannot bring into the world the parents who gave him life. Thus, in this aspect, we stand in a subordinate position, and our respect must exceed mere natural duty; it must also stem from reverence for God.

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The will of God unequivocally mandates that children honor their parents, rewarding compliance with abundant blessings and gifts, while those who transgress this command are met with severe misfortunes. “Whosoever shall speak evil of his father, or of his mother, shall be put to death” (Exodus 21:17). Conversely, to those who honor their parents, the directive stands: “Honour thy father and thy mother, that thy days on earth may be prolonged.” What is deemed the utmost good — a joyful old age and longevity — is promised by God as a reward for honoring parents, whereas what is perceived as a dire fate — untimely death — is established as punishment for dishonoring them. Some are won to love through the command to honor, and others, even if reluctant, are steered away from wrongdoing through the fear of retribution.

Jerome of Stridon

4th centuryChurch Father

In the Gospel, the Lord addresses the commandment of the Law that states, "Honour thy father and thy mother." This should not be interpreted merely through empty words that might mislead through insincere praise for parental hardship, but rather understood as providing essential support for their sustenance. God expects children to care for their needy parents and to express gratitude to their elders for the upbringing they received during their youth.

Gregorios Palamas

14th centuryChurch Father

"Honor your father and your mother" (Exodus 20:12; Deuteronomy 5:16; Matthew 19:19), as they are instruments through which God has granted you life, and after God, they are integral to your being. Thus, you should love and honor them after God, provided that your affection for them fosters a deeper love for God. However, if such love does not encourage love for God, you must distance yourself from them. If they obstruct your ability to serve God, particularly if they undermine the genuine faith—holding beliefs contrary to it—not only should you shun them, but you must also reject all those who hinder your spiritual journey.

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As expressed by Christ: "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother, his wife and children, and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple" (Luke 14:26); moreover, "whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me" (Matthew 10:38). This applies to those who are related to you by flesh and blood but impede your salvation. Conversely, those who stand with you in faith and do not obstruct your path towards salvation deserve your honor and love.

If you are obliged to honor and love your earthly fathers, your duty towards your spiritual fathers is even greater. They have brought you into new life, gifted you with the light of truth, awakened you through the waters of baptism, surrounded you with the hope of resurrection and eternal life, and transformed you from being unworthy to becoming a recipient of everlasting blessings. Through them, you are made to transcend the earthly to the heavenly, transitioning from a transient existence to one that endures. You are not merely a disciple of man, but rather a son of the God-man Jesus Christ, who bestowed upon you the spirit of sonship. He said: "And you shall not call anyone your father on earth, for you have one Father, who is in heaven" … and "You are all brothers" (Matthew 23:8-9). Therefore, your spiritual fathers deserve your love and honor, as this reverence is directed towards Christ and the Holy Spirit, the source of your inheritance of sonship, and to the heavenly Father from whom "every family in heaven and on earth is named" (Ephesians 3:15). Strive to maintain a relationship with a spiritual father throughout your life; disclose every sin and thought to him, seeking healing and forgiveness. For spiritual fathers hold the power to bind and loose souls, and whatever "you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven" (Matthew 18:18). This authority and grace come from Christ. Therefore, submit to them without hesitation, lest you endanger your soul. For just as a person who disobeys their earthly parents in matters not forbidden by divine law incurs punishment (Exodus 21:16; Matthew 15:4), will not one who defies their spiritual fathers risk driving away the Spirit of God and condemning their own soul? Therefore, heed the guidance of your spiritual fathers and practice obedience to save your soul and inherit the boundless blessings of eternity.

Peter of Kiev

17th centuryChurch Father

What does the fifth commandment instruct? The commandment states, “Honour thy father and thy mother, that it may be well with thee, and that thou mayest live long in the good land, which the Lord thy God giveth thee” (Exodus 20:12). How should we interpret this commandment? It teaches us to show reverence to our parents and to offer them our full submission and respect, as they are the ones who have given us life and nurtured us. Even without a divine command, it is evident that loving and honouring our parents is a fundamental obligation, as they have granted us countless blessings for which we can never fully repay them—after all, we cannot create them as they have created us.

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Therefore, aside from the spiritual gifts we receive from God, our parents bestow upon us the greatest kindnesses, and we should thus exalt and honour them above all others. Moreover, in the context of this commandment, the terms father and mother also refer to all who bestow goodness upon us, including spiritual leaders, educators, mentors, governors, and rulers. As the Apostle highlights, “Let every soul obey the ruling authorities.” He further elucidates, “to him that hath honour, honour” (Rom. 13:7). Those who disregard their parents are deemed ‘unwise’ by the Apostle (Rom. 1:31). It is important to note that when it concerns the glory of God or His sacred commandments, obedience to God takes precedence over that of parents, in keeping with Christ’s teaching: “He that loveth father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me” (Matt. 10:37). This principle also extends to all forms of higher authority. Ultimately, our respect and affection towards those in positions above us should manifest in positive attitudes, submission, and respectful communication.

Nicodemos the Haghiorite

18th centuryChurch Father

Honor your father and your mother so that it may go well with you and you may enjoy a long life on the earth. Those children who fail to respect their parents in the areas of honor, love, obedience, and gratitude err in their ways. Just as children are entitled to receive sustenance, wise counsel, virtuous examples of living, protection from harmful influences, education in reading and any skill from reputable instructors, and appropriate correction when necessary. Additionally, those who neglect to honor their spiritual mentors—bishops, hierarchs, priests, educators, and elders in a heavenly sense—are in transgression. The same applies to servants who show disrespect for their masters and to subordinate individuals who disregard their rulers and sovereigns.

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Those who fail to recognize their benefactors also fall short of this commandment.

Furthermore, those who forcefully marry off their children, coerce them into monastic life, or impose decisions upon them against their will are in error. Likewise, parents who do not guide their children to church, lack diligence in instilling moral values, neglect to discipline misbehavior, or fail to teach them literacy or a trade also falter in their responsibilities. Children who neglect to care for their parents in times of need, fail to assist them during illness, make marital promises without their parents' approval, or do not tolerate their parents' peculiar behavior in old age also commit sin. Husbands who fail to tend to their wives' emotional and physical well-being, scold them excessively, or unjustly chastise them are also in transgression. The same holds true for wives who do not heed their husbands. Masters and authorities who disregard the mental and physical welfare of their servants and subordinates likewise sin.

Tichon of Zadonsk

18th centuryChurch Father

The fifth commandment instructs us to show respect and obedience to our parents, and more broadly, to the supreme Ruler, as well as to the governing authorities, whether spiritual or civil, to educators and those who do us good, to employers and elders, and to all individuals with genuine love.

Philaret of Moscow (Drosdow)

19th centuryChurch Father

How does the Bible guide us in our treatment of our parents? The Fifth Commandment outlines our specific responsibilities towards our parents, instructing us to honor them by treating them with respect, obeying them, providing for them in times of sickness and old age, and praying for the salvation of their souls—both during their lives and after their passing. We are also called to carry out their wishes, provided they align with God's law and civil regulations. How serious is the sin of dishonoring one’s parents? Just as it is instinctive to love and respect our parents, from whom we receive our very lives, failing to honor them is a grave sin. Consequently, the Mosaic Law prescribed the death penalty for those who speak ill of their father or mother.

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Why is the promise of well-being and longevity linked to the fifth commandment? This linkage serves to encourage adherence to the command, which is foundational for both family and societal order. In what way is the promise of well-being and longevity realized? The narratives of the ancient patriarchs demonstrate that God endows parents' blessings with unique power. A father's blessing establishes his children's households. God ensures the protection and prosperity of those who show respect to their parents during their earthly existence and, as a reward for their virtue, grants them eternal and blessed life in the heavenly realm. Why are parents prioritized in the commandments regarding love for one’s neighbor? In the commandment that calls for love toward our neighbors, parents are mentioned first because they are our naturally closest companions. Who else should we honor? In reference to parents, we should also understand this command to extend to all those who may represent parental figures in various respects. Who can serve as parental figures for us? Parental figures may include our homeland, which is akin to a large family with the ruler as a father and the citizens as his children, as well as pastors and spiritual mentors who guide us into spiritual life through teaching and sacraments, older individuals, benefactors, and various governing authorities. How does Scripture address honoring sovereigns? Scripture states: Let every soul be subject to governing authorities, for there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God. Thus, anyone who resists authority resists the ordinance of God. This necessitates obedience, not merely from fear of punishment but out of a clear conscience. Fear the Lord and the king, and do not associate with those who are rebellious. Render to Caesar what is Caesar's, and to God what is God's. Honor all people, love the brotherhood, fear God, and honor the king. How deeply should our love for our sovereign and homeland extend? Our love for our sovereign and homeland should be profound enough to compel us to sacrifice our lives for them. How does Scripture speak of the respect due to pastors and spiritual leaders? The Scriptures instruct us to be obedient to our leaders as they watch over our souls and must give account for their stewardship. Let them do this with joy and not with grief, for that would be unprofitable for you. How does Scripture advise regarding respect for elders? The Scriptures specifically encourage us to honor the elderly in the same way we honor our parents. The Apostle Paul advised Timothy not to rebuke an elder harshly but to treat him as a father and younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters. You shall rise before the gray-headed and honor the presence of an old man, and fear your God. How does Scripture address honoring benefactors? It is clear that we should regard benefactors with the same honor as parents, following the example of Jesus, who obeyed Joseph, His earthly guardian. Who else should receive honor similar to that given to parents? Others in positions of authority who should be honored after our parents include those responsible for our spiritual upbringing, such as teachers and mentors, civil officials who maintain order in society, judges who provide justice, and military leaders who safeguard public safety. How does Scripture express the obligations owed to those in authority? Scripture teaches that everyone should fulfill their obligations: Render therefore to all their due: taxes to whom taxes are due, custom to whom custom, fear to whom fear, honor to whom honor. It also outlines the obligations of servants and slaves to their masters: Obey your masters with respect and sincerity, as you would obey Christ. Likewise, servants should respect their masters, both those who are good and gentle and those who may be harsh. What responsibilities does Scripture assign to children? The Scriptures assign duties to children analogous to those set for parents. Fathers are instructed not to provoke their children but to bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. How does Scripture guide spiritual leaders in their care for their flock? The divine word instructs leaders to shepherd the flock of God entrusted to them, doing so willingly and not under compulsion, motivated by zeal rather than greed, and serving as examples for their flock. What does Scripture say about the obligations of rulers and the ruled? Scripture describes the responsibilities of rulers concerning their servants: Treat your servants justly and fairly, knowing that you also have a Master in heaven. What should we do if parents or authorities demand actions contrary to God’s law? If parents or authorities request something that contradicts our faith or God's commandments, we must respond as the apostles did before the Jewish leaders: Judge whether it is right before God to obey you rather than God. We must be prepared to endure the consequences for the sake of our faith and adherence to God's law. What virtue does the fifth commandment demand from us? The virtue emphasized by the fifth commandment is obedience.

Agapitus of Crete

17th centuryCommentator

This commandment instructs not only that children should respect and support their parents, but also that parents should show respect for their children. Similarly, servants should honor their masters, and masters should value their servants; supervisors should recognize their employees, and employees should respect their supervisors. Husbands ought to honor their wives, and wives should honor their husbands, while all family members should uplift one another. In this manner, each individual ought to reflect on their conduct with those who provide support and with the elderly.

Gregorij Djatchenko

19th centuryCommentator

The fourth commandment of God’s law instructs us to remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy: six days are designated for work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath dedicated to the Lord your God. The Old Testament highlights the Sabbath as a significant observance. In the commandment, God emphasizes, "Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy: six days shalt thou labor, and do all thy work: but the seventh day is the sabbath of the Lord thy God: in it thou shalt not do any work" (Exodus 20:8-10). There is an account where the Israelites discovered a man gathering sticks on the Sabbath, which led them to bring him before Moses and Aaron. God instructed Moses to let the man die for this transgression (Numbers 15:32-36).

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From the Scriptures, we find two main reasons for the institution of the Sabbath. The first is expressed in the following verse: "For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and rested the seventh day: wherefore the Lord blessed the sabbath day, and hallowed it" (Exodus 20:11). This indicates that the Sabbath was blessed and sanctified by God at the very beginning of creation, commemorating the divine act of creation. The blessing was not limited to the Jewish people since humanity, through Adam, was the sole ancestor at that time, making the Sabbath a universal commandment for all people. Thus, this commandment carries the same weight as any of the Ten Commandments.

The second reason for honoring the Sabbath pertains to the liberation of the Israelites from slavery in Egypt: "And remember that thou wast a servant in the land of Egypt, and that the Lord thy God brought thee out thence through a mighty hand and by a stretched-out arm: therefore the Lord thy God commanded thee to keep the sabbath day" (Deuteronomy 5:15). While this bears particular significance for the Jewish people, the apostles recognized a parallel—the deliverance of humanity from sin and death through Christ's sacrifice. This event transpired before the Sabbath, while the resurrection of Christ on the day following—the first day of the week—was pivotal. As a result, the observance of the Sabbath was transitioned by the apostles to this first day, commemorated as the Lord's Day or simply, Resurrection Day.

During the earthly ministry of Jesus, the Jewish authorities imposed strict regulations regarding Sabbath observance, even regarding acts of healing, labeling Him a violator. Conversely, some Christians today have diminished the significance of Sunday observance, treating it similarly to any other workday, which is a misuse of the day.

On Sundays and feast days, we should dedicate ourselves to the Lord by setting aside earthly responsibilities: judges should abstain from court, teachers from lessons, merchants from trade, artisans from their crafts, and farmers from their fields, instead engaging in works that honor God. The foremost of these actions is prayer, particularly through communal worship. Neglecting to attend church on holy days, failing to offer praise and thanks to God for His blessings, constitutes serious neglect. Therefore, it is essential for Christians to gather for prayer in God’s house on these days. The historical devotion of early Christians serves as an example; they often convened in temples to pray and hear God’s Word, despite adversity and restrictions.

An illustrative story from that time recounts how Emperor Valens sought to exterminate a large assembly of Christians. Despite forewarned of impending danger, many believers still gathered. Remarkably, a woman hurried to the assembly with her child, desiring to join her fellow believers even in the face of death. When questioned why she carried her infant, she expressed her wish for them both to be honored in martyrdom. Such was the fervor of the early church's members! In contrast, we live in an era of relative freedom but often neglect church attendance.

Furthermore, on holy days, it is commendable for us to extend kindness to others—supporting the needy, comforting the sorrowful, aiding the ill, and visiting those in prison. The early church was known for such deeds. One example is Saint Martha, who provided for the hungry, visited the sick, and for those in need of care. Another was Brother Isaiah, who, on feast days, made it his mission to establish hospices to serve the poor. This kind of charity is a noble pursuit that we too should adopt; contributing even small amounts to those in need on special days honors God.

After participating in God's service at church, it is beneficial to return home and share a meal with one’s family, discussing the Gospel readings and the teachings learned in worship. Taking time to read the Bible or the lives of saints can enrich the soul and lead to a peaceful evening, resulting in a refreshed spirit to engage in daily tasks the next day.

Yet, the reality is that many do not observe this sacred time as prescribed. Instead of dedicating holidays to God, they often succumb to frivolous pursuits, indulgence, or even sinful behaviors. It is a grave matter for Christians to squander holy days in such a fashion.

The fifth commandment of God’s law is to honor your father and mother so that you may have a long and prosperous life on the earth. Let us now elucidate this commandment, which is often misunderstood and inadequately observed by many.

What does it mean to fulfill our sacred obligation to our parents, as indicated by the command to honor them? It requires us to nurture within our souls a profound sense of respect and veneration for our parents. They are God’s chosen instruments in our lives; it is through them that we have received life and all that we are. Thus, honoring our parents is tantamount to honoring the Creator Himself. The greatness of our parents warrants the utmost reverence; therefore, we must treat them with not only civility but also with heartfelt esteem, as we would treat our most distinguished guests. The wise son of Sirach instructs us: "Honor thy father and mother in deed and word; that blessing may come upon thee from them" (Sirach 3:8). Their wishes should be sacred to us, and we ought to obey them in all matters, provided their requests do not contravene our faith or God’s laws, demonstrating diligence and fidelity. St. Paul the Apostle exhorts, "Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord" (Colossians 3:20). The sage son of Sirach teaches us to be intercessors for our parents in their old age (Sirach 3:12).

It may seem sufficient to state, "Honor your father and mother," but can one disregard the commands of God? Is not the duty to honor one’s parents inherently sacred? Yet, God deemed it appropriate to accompany this command with the promise, "that it may be well with thee, and that thou mayest live long on the earth." This underscores the importance of honoring parents in the sight of God. The Lord encourages children to fulfill this duty by promising them a prosperous, longer life. Indeed, the success of the family greatly relies on the reverence shown to parents, and in turn, the welfare of families impacts the entire community, for the state itself can be seen as a larger family under the authority of its king. Blessed be you, the Lord declares; may you live long upon the earth. The Lord assures every honorable child of prosperity and longevity, bestowed through their parents’ blessings.

You all know the sacred tradition whereby parents bless their children. Is a parent's blessing insignificant? The wise son of Sirach advises, "Honor thy father and thy mother, that thou mayest find blessing from them." Parental blessings serve as a wellspring of good for children and a significant gift from God. Reflect on the blessing Noah imparted to Japheth: "May God enlarge Japheth," and observe how this blessing has endured through the ages, manifesting strongly among Japheth’s descendants, the Europeans, who have spread their influence and culture throughout the world.

This sacred practice of parental blessing remains relevant today. Children who honor their parents can expect promises of happiness in their parents’ blessings. Currently, a father’s blessing establishes a child’s home. However, when children fail to honor their parents, disobey them, or act with disdain, they invite upon themselves a curse entwined with misfortunes and death, both temporal and eternal. "Cursed by the Lord is he that vexes his mother" (Sirach 3:16). "He who speaks ill of his father or mother, let him die the death" (Exodus 21:16).

Furthermore, the fifth commandment extends to honoring those who stand in the stead of our parents, such as rulers, clergy, and educators. Let us discuss how we ought to honor these figures. The sovereign, as the father of the nation, is appointed by God to lead His people, establish laws, protect their well-being, and guide them toward righteousness. The authority of a king, conferred by God Himself, must be respected, as it is written: "By me kings reign" (Proverbs 8:15). The Apostle Peter admonishes us to honor the king, "Fear God, honor the king" (1 Peter 2:17), suggesting that we should love and esteem our earthly sovereign as we would a father, ready to make any sacrifice, including our lives, for them.

Shepherds and teachers, as guides to our eternal salvation and dispensers of divine gifts, deserve our respect. They are chosen by God to instruct us in faith, pray for us, and enlighten us through holy sacraments. Their authority on earth is unparalleled: "Whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven" (Matthew 18:18). The Apostle instructs us: "Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are watching over your souls" (Hebrews 13:17). The Lord declared, "He who hears you hears me" (Luke 10:16).

Those in authority, despite their shared humanity, should also be revered because their power arises from God’s will, and they seek our welfare. "Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God" (Romans 13:1-2).

Lastly, nature dictates that we honor the elders among us. They stand as fathers to the younger generations, possessing wisdom and experience beyond mere age. Hence, the Word of God commands us to respect our elders. The Apostle Paul instructs us: "Do not rebuke an elder, but encourage him as you would a father" (1 Timothy 5:1-2). God, speaking through Moses, reminds us to revere the elderly (Leviticus 19:32).

Notice, dear brethren, the multitude of fathers we have beyond our biological parents, whom we are also bound to honor in observing the fifth commandment of divine law. We must not believe that any Christian ruler, or parent, could prescribe anything contrary to our faith or the law of God, nor any action harmful to our homeland. If such a situation arises, we should remain loyal to God and His Word, choosing to decline any such will, emulating the holy apostles who defied the Jewish authorities forbidding them to preach the Gospel of Christ, boldly stating, "It is fitting to obey God rather than man" (Acts 5:29).

As to how children can demonstrate love for their parents, honoring them is a command from God, as well as a demand of conscience and common sense.

Firstly, children are to show their love by obeying their parents. "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right" (Ephesians 6:1). There is no greater fairness than for children to hearken to the counsel of their parents, who have their children's best interests at heart. Parental guidance, including discipline, arises from a profound desire for their well-being. Parents strive to mold their children into wise and virtuous individuals, seeking to diminish any harmful tendencies they may perceive. Thus, children should receive parental advice and correction with gratitude, regardless of their own feelings about it. It is indeed grievous for children to respond to their parents with disrespect or contempt, adopting the attitudes of the contemporary world that reject tradition. Such actions cause deep sorrow to parents and invoke divine displeasure.

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Wlastow G.K.

19th centuryCommentator

The Fifth Commandment serves as ‘the first commandment with promise’ as noted by St. Paul in Ephesians 6:2. This commandment is associated with a unique blessing that underpins the well-being of families, communities, and nations, assuring both longevity and happiness in earthly existence. Our Savior, Jesus Christ, highlights its neglect due to the Pharisaic interpretation of the law, as illustrated in Matthew 15:4-6 and Mark 7:10-11. Historically, it is evident that a state's strength, prominence, and authority were fundamentally rooted in the stability of the family unit, where honoring one's parents formed the foundation of a flourishing society. As such, when family ties weaken, societal disintegration inevitably follows.

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Parents are seen as earthly representatives of the Creator, and the bond children share with them, at its fullest expression, mirrors the love we hold for our Heavenly Father, our Creator and Benefactor. This connection is significant, which is why the fifth commandment serves as a crucial link between our obligations to God and our responsibilities towards one another, providing a natural and profound transition from the divine to the interpersonal.

Cross references

Passages read together with this verse.