THEOSISJerome of Stridon
Upon careful examination of all matters, I have discovered that by gradually committing sins and accumulating them, we create for ourselves a substantial debt of transgressions. The term ‘esebon,’ commonly translated as λογισμός, can reflect both ‘number’ and ‘sum,’ as well as ‘mind’ and ‘thought,’ through the interplay of its Hebrew roots. Yet, my soul continued to seek for the right woman. In my search among men, I scarcely found a few virtuous individuals, with perhaps only one in a thousand, while among women, I found none who were good. They inclined me not towards virtue but towards vice.
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Given that the heart of man is ‘partial to the wicked from his youth’ (Genesis 8:21), and the majority have done what displeases God, it follows that in this moral decline, women appear more susceptible to falling. A well-known pagan poet remarked, ‘Here and there is ever-changing Woman’ (Virg. IV. Aeneid. V. 35), and the apostle noted, ‘always learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth’ (2 Tim. 3:7). To clarify, the intent is not to cast blame on humanity nor to assert that God is the source of evil; rather, it is stated with purpose that we were created good by God. However, since we possess free will, we often fall into the depths of depravity due to our own failings when we strive for more and think beyond our limitations. In reflecting deeply upon everything, I found no thought that was not disturbed externally by a corrupt idea. Among a thousand men, I identified one who was fashioned in the image of the Creator, and among those thousand men—excluding any women who were close and therefore remained pure—there was a challenge in finding a thought that bore purity. This should be understood metaphorically: after much contemplation, a truly worthy thought, akin to that of a husband, is rare. We can interpret men as thoughts and women as actions, suggesting the rarity of finding pure thoughts, while actions, being physical, are invariably marked by some flaw. In place of our earlier translations of the Hebrew terms, ‘one to one, that it may be found’ as ‘number’ or ‘sum’ or ‘foundation’ or ‘thought,’ Simmachus more clearly rendered it as ‘one to one to find the number.’ The example we commonly use in the general or neutral form, such as that which was sought or desired, is given a feminine expression by the Jews, as illustrated in the Psalm: ‘I will ask one’ of the Lord, that “I will seek” (Ps. 26:4), rather than our conventional ‘one’ and ‘that’.