Instead, they were consumed by the sorrow of losing Jesus and all that came with Him, compounded by a painful awareness of their own failings. In their hearts, they recognized that they had lost everything in Him. All their aspirations for the glorious reign of the Messiah had crumbled to dust. Their faith in Jesus and the promise of His glory lay overshadowed, leaving them powerless, devoid of miracles they once experienced, and lacking any assistance or resources for their deliverance. Everything had been taken away with their Master, who had gone to the grave. They could expect no better fate from their fellow countrymen.
Through their close association with their Divine Instructor, they had nurtured a genuine love for Him. How could they not love Him when He loved them so deeply? How graciously He dealt with them! He offered them life-saving guidance and defended them against those who opposed Him (Matthew 12:2, 3, etc.). Even prior to His suffering, He showed concern for them (Lk. 22:36, 31, 32; Jn. 13:18, 19; 18:8, 9-11). Who could possibly exhibit enough love to repay Him for His? Would it not be more unfeeling than stone to remain indifferent towards Him? His heart was wide open to them, revealing secrets of the kingdom. As their Lord, He regarded them as friends. But now that Jesus was gone, could they truly face their actions toward Him without shame? At the very least, each should feel justified to say within: I remained faithful to You, O Divine Teacher, until the very end, sharing all with You; only some unforeseen force took You from our grasp. But inwardly, their consciences whispered: you were not worthy of His everlasting presence.
They clearly remembered the trials He endured on His last night with them, when He prophesied that one among them would deny Him thrice by morning, to which they all insisted, “No, it cannot be” (Matthew 26:35). What were their feelings when Jesus was seized? They were ready to relinquish their final possessions in an effort to escape the hands of His accusers (Mark 14:51). Although He sought to draw them close to share in their heavy foreboding, they were incapable of comprehending His sorrow. He invited them to pray with Him, yet they succumbed to sleep. He sought to convey the dangers that lay ahead, but they failed to grasp His message (Luke 22). As He spoke of the suffering He would soon endure, their argument turned to which of them would rank highest in the kingdom. Was not the traitor among their ranks? Thus, every source of comfort and every glimmer of hope was engulfed by the disciples’ agonizing sense of loss—especially in those early hours following the dreadful events on Golgotha (Mark 16:10).
The hour had come that Jesus had forewarned them about during the Last Supper: “you will weep and wail, and the world will rejoice” (John 16:20); “you will seek Me, and you cannot come where I am going” (John 13:33). Gradually, they began to gather, yet they found no comfort in each other's presence, alienated both in solitude and company. Others close to Jesus could not help but share their grief, notably the Holy Mother of Jesus, who witnessed His suffering on the cross and lamented the anguish of her beloved Son. The prophecy of Simeon was fulfilled in her: a sword pierced her soul. Each drop of Jesus' blood weighed upon her heart. The shame and disgrace of being counted among the wicked struck her hard, for she had known Him as the Son of God even before His birth, foreseeing that all generations would honor her because of Him. Although the compassionate Son sought to shield His Mother from the sight of His last sufferings, this effort provided small relief from her sorrow.
The mothers of the apostles James and Judas, as well as Salome, mother of the two sons of Zebedee, were likely with the Blessed Virgin at John’s home in Jerusalem, sharing their tears. Witnesses to the sufferings of Jesus returned from the grim scene, their hearts heavy with grief: what anguish must have filled the hearts of the women bound to Jesus by blood, affection, and cherished aspirations? Lastly, the devoted and loving Mary Magdalene, present at the cross along with Jesus’ Mother, felt the weight of her great love for Him. The sisters of Lazarus, who had brought their brother back to life, now mourned, regretting that their faithfulness had ultimately led to the Sanhedrin’s ruthless judgment against Jesus. Joseph and Nicodemus, who had kept their allegiance to Jesus hidden, came forth to pay their last respects to the One abandoned by all. In essence, all who had known Jesus, whether deeply or superficially, found themselves enveloped in the same sense of profound loss as the apostles.