Matthew 10:37Meaning & Commentary from the Church Fathers

In expressing this, He revealed the intensity and strength of the love He requires. Since His love for us is profound, He calls us to return that affection with equal fervor. His words not only comforted but also encouraged the apostles. He questioned, if His followers were prepared to part from their families, what then should the teachers exemplify? The trials you face will not conclude with you but will extend to others. Having come to offer abundant blessings, I require substantial obedience and commitment. Is this not in conflict with the age-old commandments? On the contrary, it aligns perfectly with them.

It is essential to disdain one’s parents and children if they seek to command greater affection than Christ. But what can I express regarding the father and the children? Listen further: see Matthew 10:38.

Let the father proclaim, "Cherish me." Let the mother declare, "Cherish me." In response, I would say, "Hush." Yet, is there not some truth in their request? Should I not reciprocate what I have received? The father asserts, "I beget you." The mother claims, "I brought you into the world." The father continues, "I raised you." The mother adds, "I nurtured you." Their statements may hold merit when they say, "Power is in His wings, yet do not depart as a debtor; return what we once entrusted to you." Thus, we should respond to our father and mother who rightly call, "Cherish us," with the words, "I cherish you in Christ, though not in place of Christ.

Do not prioritize your loved ones over the Lord. As it is written, ‘Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me’ (Matthew 10:37). What is the significance of this command from the Lord? It is said, ‘Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple’ (cf. Luke 14:27). If you have died with Christ for the sake of your earthly family, then why wish to return to life among them? Moreover, if you attempt to rebuild what you have forsaken for Christ for the sake of your relatives, you put yourself in a position of wrongdoing. Therefore, do not forsake your convictions for your family, as doing so may lead you to forsake your principles as well.

He who initially declared, "I did not come to bring peace to the earth, but a sword," and to set individuals against their father and mother, emphasized that one's devotion should not surpass their faith. He went on to ask, "Who loves father or mother more than Me?" In the Song of Songs, we find the phrase, "Make love to Me a rule." This principle is essential in every spiritual journey. After God, one should love their father, mother, and children. Should it become necessary to evaluate love for parents and children against love for God, and if an individual cannot maintain both loyalties, let there be devotion towards God and animosity towards their own. Thus, He did not prohibit the love for father or mother, but rather underscored, "Who loves father or mother more than Me?"

In this context, only one individual from each group of those who are ascending and those who are descending is highlighted as being closer. "Who," He states, "loves them more than Me; for to love them, when they are righteous, is commendable; yet it is always wrong to love them more than God."

In addition to various teachings related to salvation, the Savior emphasized the importance of prioritizing His redemptive message and commitment above familial relationships. He declares that anyone who does not abandon father, mother, or spouse for His sake is “not worthy of Me.” This means that those who do not place greater value on His saving precepts, His love, and His guidance will be separated from the limitless blessings and joy experienced by those who cherish His commandments and divine affection over earthly bonds. Illustrating the simplicity and importance of this directive, the Savior Himself exemplifies it by prioritizing the spiritual well-being of His followers over His connection with His mother, as indicated in Matthew 12:48.

Each day, we hear His sacred call proclaiming, "Whoever loves father or mother, brother or sister, and even their possessions more than Me is not worthy of Me" (Matthew 10:37; Luke 14:26, 27). Therefore, the Scriptures instruct us, and our experiences validate, that the cross accompanies acts of self-denial and righteousness, signifying grief, trials, and ultimately the harshest death that must be embraced by those who wish to be Christ's disciples. In times past, when oppressors sought to annihilate Christians, many willingly faced death, enduring various forms of suffering. Yet today, when Christians experience the profound peace granted by God’s grace, the cross and death symbolize nothing more than the complete surrender and renunciation of personal desires. It is impossible for anyone who seeks to follow their own inclinations—even in minor matters—to walk in the footsteps of our Lord and adhere to His teachings.

Whoever holds father or mother in greater affection than Me is unworthy of Me (Matthew 10:37). Since God the Father has given His beloved Son for our sake, and since the only-begotten Son willingly offered Himself, it is only fitting that we should disregard those closest to us by blood if they hinder our devotion to godliness and a life that aligns with it. Why focus on those related by blood? When circumstances demand it, everyone must be prepared to sacrifice their life. This is paramount if one desires to achieve eternal life, for the Son of God laid down His life for us. He further emphasizes, “He who does not take up his cross and follow Me is not worthy of Me” (Matthew 10:38). Taking up the cross means putting to death the flesh along with its desires and passions.

By the unfathomable plans of God, I find myself once again amidst this city, where I first encountered the light. The unfolding of events led me away, so I never imagined I would return. Most importantly, I am reunited with my brothers and neighbors, with whom I shared some of my earliest joys in life. I wish to devote myself entirely to the profound love for my homeland, a devotion seen in the children of Jerusalem, who cherish their city and even hold dear the very dust of its roads (Psalm 101:15). My heart is prepared to sing a song like that of the inhabitants of Jerusalem: ‘Pray for the peace of Jerusalem: may those who love you prosper! Peace be within your walls and safety within your citadels. For the sake of my brothers and my friends, I now say: Peace be within you’ (Psalm 121:6-8).

But what do I hear? This lovely melody is abruptly interrupted by the commanding words of Christ, which seem to reach out to me intentionally within this temple: "He who loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; and he who loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me." What is to be done? I choose to embrace another song from the song of Israel: shall my soul not be obedient to God? (Psalm 61:2). Hence, I will rise above my love for fellow humans and even my own kin, choosing to remember solely the people of the Lord and the heavenly Father’s house. In this state of reflection, I am free to resume the halted hymn of Jerusalem: “For the sake of our God, I seek your prosperity, O city beloved by God! For the sacred Church that is God’s dwelling, and for the faithful children who belong to Him, I desire good things for you; and since my longings are for God, I seek divine blessings, the peace of God that surpasses understanding, the faith of God as His gift, and the love of God poured into our hearts by the Holy Spirit.”

But do I not harm my brothers and neighbors by quickly abandoning my love for our homeland? You will see, dear brothers, that there is no injustice in this. I ask of you nothing different from what I wish for myself. If you wish to receive the love of God and Christ, you must love them more than father and mother, more than brothers and sisters, more than anything else dear to you. "He who loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; and he who loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me." When I proclaim the sacred duty of loving God and Christ above all else, it does not imply a fear that anyone among you stands opposed to God and Christ. There are indeed those, of whom the Apostle mournfully speaks—enemies of the cross of Christ (Philippians 3:18)—who refuse to yield their thoughts to His faith or their hearts to His law, echoing the rebels in the parable: “We do not want this man to reign over us” (Luke 19:14). Yet I have no doubt that every faithful believer will respond with the Apostle's zeal and reject them with unwavering spirit. “If anyone does not love the Lord Jesus Christ, let him be accursed” (1 Corinthians 16:22).

There exists another group among those who profess belief in Christ and recognize God’s law, who fear offending God and Christ but lack a clear or deep understanding of their obligation to love them. As a result, they miss out on the fullness of joy that such love brings. They know their duty to believe—submitting their minds to the mysteries revealed in God’s Word, acknowledging that the limited and flawed human mind cannot grasp the infinite wisdom of God; they accept their obligation to live according to God’s law, serving the true God in the way He desires, avoiding offenses against others through theft and other injustices; they recognize the necessity of repentance, confessing their sins before God with hope of forgiveness for the sake of Him who knew no sin but was made sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him (2 Corinthians 5:21); they understand the call to prayer—not merely invoking God’s name but seeking His blessings and saving grace. They feel a profound fear of God’s judgment whenever they fail these duties, and when they believe they have done so, they soothe themselves with the hope of heaven as a just reward.

Is this not the totality of piety for many Christians, who may not reflect on the deeper truths that lie beyond this? No, brethren, there exists so much more beyond this, for without what remains, none of this can lead you to your true goal: eternal salvation. Regardless of how high your ladder of virtues may rise, it will not elevate you to heaven, and it may very well collapse if it lacks the final rung that securely reaches heaven. Examine your heart; does it truly love Him to whom you owe faith and adherence to the law, to whom your prayers and repentance are directed? Do you sense that this love has been poured into your heart by the Holy Spirit (Romans 5:5), just as you feel the love of parents and siblings when you behold them? Should your conscience and spirit fail to affirm that you genuinely experience this divine outpouring of love, you must diligently learn this love from the One Divine Teacher, Jesus Christ. "He who loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; he who loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me."

You believe and hope to attain salvation through faith. I do not contest this hope; it is the Saviour himself who grants salvation to the believer. “Your faith has made you whole” (Matthew 9:22), He frequently assured those He healed. He also promised that “whoever believes and is baptized will be saved” (Mark 16:16). But is all faith of the same nature? Is there no distinction between faith and faith? Consider the kind of faith the Apostle criticizes when he states: “You believe that God is one; you do well. The demons also believe—and tremble” (James 2:19). What satisfaction can such faith provide? What faith is capable of saving? The Apostle asserts it is “faith working through love” (Galatians 5:6). Without love, faith has no efficacy or success and does not lead to salvation. Faith devoid of love is like a lifeless image: love, as the breath of the Holy Spirit, invigorates faith and renders it active and redemptive. If you wish to experience salvation through faith, love the One in whom you trust.

You live according to the law. It may seem that this indicates love, as the great Instructor in divine love stated: “He who has My commandments and keeps them, it is he who loves Me” (John 14:21). However, delve deeply to truly grasp what Truth teaches. Since love is indeed a heart-oriented feeling, and since the Mentor who examines the heart foresees that some fragile disciples might mistakenly assume that this feeling can exist independently without actions that align with it, He clarifies that the one who loves Him is the one who possesses His commandments and observes them. This could not be stated by the One so filled with love, suggesting that mere compliance with His commandments would suffice as a replacement for love, even when one fails to feel it. Likewise, a loving parent would not permit their child to disregard love as long as they obeyed commands.

What does it mean to keep commandments without love? Who among us could deny their own shortcomings, transgressions against the commandments? If a person's life is built upon these commandments, yet that foundation has cracks, the curse of the law will inevitably strike and shatter the entire structure: “Cursed is everyone who does not abide by all things written in the Book of the Law” (Galatians 3:10). Even more straightforwardly, “For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it” (James 2:10). Where, then, is salvation found in merely fulfilling the commandments? It exists, indeed, but only for those who follow the spirit of the law rather than its letter: the essence of the law is love.

Do you wish to evade the curse of the law? Would you like a concise and definitive means to fulfill the whole law? This succinct and assured path is love. “He who loves,” the Apostle declares, “fulfills the law; for the whole law is summed up in this one command” (Romans 13:8-10). This is not meant to convey that love permits neglect of the law, for it instead embodies the law’s essence. Just as a soul animates and moves a body, love empowers those who adhere to the law, rendering its commandments easier to fulfill. A son hastening to see his beloved parent does not grow weary on his journey. In the same vein, the children of God, those who love Him, willingly undertake whatever may be necessary in their lives, hastening toward the eternal abode where they hope to be united with the Father, who has bestowed upon them this noble inheritance—to be children of God (John 1:12), whose love is greater than all earthly or heavenly affection.

You repent. In this, you tread a righteous path, for “godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret” (2 Corinthians 7:10). Notice the deeper meaning in Paul’s statement: he refers to repentance that remains steadfast and does not regress into old sinful desires, nor withdraws from the earnest resolve to live according to God’s will—this kind of repentance leads to salvation. Again, dear brethren, I appeal to your own conscience: do we not observe that our noble intentions in repentance sometimes falter and dissipate, leading us—partly through negligence and partly through our lack of adherence—to fall back into the sins from which we sought to break free? What hope for salvation can arise from such repentance if only unrepentant repentance brings deliverance? How should we address our spiritual illnesses when the vessels that often hearken to their remedy appear dulled in efficacy? The most potent remedy against the recurrence of our spiritual ailments, as well as a loyal assistant to our repentance against the return of sin, is sincere love for Him who does not desire the death of the sinner and who even died for the sinner’s salvation.

Indeed, true love is evident when a devoted son makes prudent use of his parent’s resources rather than squandering them while expecting leniency. The Gospel gives a profound illustration of the redemptive power that genuine love infuses in repentance. A woman, notorious throughout the city as a sinner, approaches Jesus Christ, anointing His feet with precious ointment, washing them with her tears, and wiping them with her hair. She demonstrates her repentance without uttering a single word. Yet, He, whom the Jews deride and whom Christians gladly call the friend of sinners (Matthew 11:19), permits her visitation and despite her numerous sins, she finds forgiveness: “Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loves much” (Luke 7:47).

You pray. Who would not commend such a spiritual practice? Yet I question you: what quality does your prayer embody? For there exists a hollow prayer; of which it is declared: “These people draw near to Me with their lips, but their hearts are far from Me; and in vain do they worship Me” (Matthew 15:8-9). What does it mean to approach God with mere words while the heart remains distant? To express or hear prayers devoid of sincere engagement or spiritual fervor—ultimately, to pray without love. One can easily perceive the emptiness of such prayers through natural reasoning. What child, just beginning to understand, would approach a parent with requests devoid of affection and warmth? Thus, are we not more foolish than children if we think we can gain favors from our Heavenly Father, who perceives our hearts, by offering petitions that lack warmth and love?

O Lord Jesus, Thou treasure of all imperishable treasures; help us to detach ourselves from all things and cling to Thee, Thou our life and our good.

It is important to note that Jesus did not merely say to love one’s father or mother; He specified to love them more than Him. The natural law certainly obliges us to honor our parents, as does the command from the Lord to love and care for them fully. However, the extent of this love must be significantly less than our love for God. Our devotion to God must exceed all familial bonds, as He demands both unwavering faith and profound love from us. We are called to love God more than our relatives, who possess nothing inherently more lovable than He does. Certainly, we should honor and love our parents and fulfill their wishes with humility. Yet, if they were to urge us to abandon our faith, we must not show them favoritism or heed their commands.

“If God,” remarks Metropolitan Philaret of Moscow, “commands a man, by the divine law of marital love, to leave his father and mother, can the Heavenly Bridegroom of our souls, Christ our Savior, expect lesser sacrifices from those who wish to join in spiritual union with Him?” This is the reason why He speaks with such authority to His apostles, and through them to all believers: WHOEVER LOVES HIS FATHER OR HIS MOTHER, who provided you with fleeting life, MORE THAN ME, your Redeemer, who grants you everlasting life through His blood, IS NOT WORTHY OF ME; such a person is not suited to be My disciple. Honor your parents, show compassion towards them in their elder years, and obey them, yet if they compel you to violate My commandments, you must not comply.

When we profess our faith in Christ, our love for Him must surpass all other relationships, including that of our parents. His will, communicated through His commandments, must take precedence over any human desires. While we are called to honor and care for our parents, particularly in their later years, we must resist any attempts they make to lead us away from Christ's teachings. If your affection for your father leads you to compromise these commandments in order to please him, demonstrating that you prioritize your relationship with him over your devotion to Me, then you are not worthy of Me.

In the passage, the idea conveyed is that Christ, as our Savior, who has bestowed upon humanity the promise of eternal salvation for the soul, should be cherished more deeply than those who sustain our earthly existence or to whom we owe such life. While familial affection is a precious bond that deserves to be valued, it must never eclipse our love for Christ. Therefore, if a situation arises where one must choose between familial love and devotion to Christ, the former must be relinquished in favor of the latter. The phrase ‘Unworthy of Me’ signifies that a person who does not recognize Christ as their teacher and Lord is not truly His disciple or follower. By commanding that everything else be set aside and that love for Him should take precedence over all else, He demonstrates that He is indeed the only begotten Son of the Father.