John Chrysostom
A person who is neglectful of their children, even if they exhibit goodness and integrity in other areas, will face consequences for this wrongdoing. If you wish to understand the certainty that, despite having our lives in order, neglecting the salvation of our offspring leads to severe punishment, consider the following account. There was a priest among the Jews, a humble and devout man named Eli, who was the father of two sons. When he witnessed them engaging in wrongdoings, he neither properly corrected nor restrained them; to put it more accurately, while he did attempt to guide them, he lacked the diligence required for real discipline.
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He tried to steer them away from evil through mere verbal counsel, often saying, “No, my children, do not engage in this; the reports I hear are not favorable.” Though his words had the potential to guide them towards better behavior, his insufficient efforts culminated in his rebellion against God and a tragedy for his own salvation and that of his children. Beyond his negligence towards his children, there was nothing else for which God could find fault with him. However, if God allowed him and his entire household to fall, how much more severely will those who commit greater sins be judged? Even Eli's status as a priest, his age, and his renown, which allowed him to lead the Jewish people for twenty years without blemish, could not protect him from punishment. He perished tragically due to his lack of careful attention to his children, with the sin of his negligence engulfing all his other actions like a massive wave. What retribution is in store for us, who possess lesser virtues and fail not only to instruct our children but treat them more harshly than any brutish individual? Just as one should not expect leniency and justification for personal sins, so too should parents not anticipate mercy for their children's wrongdoings, and justly so. If sin were inherently a part of human nature, then the argument for forgiveness might hold weight, but since we possess the capacity for both good and evil, what valid rationale can defend a parent who permits their beloved child to descend into corruption? It is better to leave a legacy of virtue than of wealth to our children. And is it not immensely foolish to refrain from putting them in charge of any property while alive, only to grant them the freedom to squander it upon death? While we are alive, we can demand accountability and instill proper values, but upon our passing, we abandon them, leaving their youth and wealth unchecked, propelling them into countless pitfalls of calamity. Let us strive, therefore, to pass down not riches, but virtue. Should they rely on wealth, they may neglect all else, for an abundance of money can obscure the reality of moral failings; conversely, if they notice a lack of worldly comfort, they may seek solace in poverty through the embrace of virtue. Consequently, we must attend to their spiritual upbringing before pursuing our individual or public ambitions. If we nurture our sons well, they will likewise raise their children, continuing this chain of nurturing through generations until the return of Christ, rewarding those who have established the root of such goodness. Indeed, if a child is raised rightly, he will also teach his offspring; thus creating a lineage that extends a legacy of excellence, originating from you and yielding fruit through the dedication of your descendants. Fathers who neglect the decency and propriety of their children are akin to murderers of the soul, exhibiting even greater cruelty. Therefore, just as one who sees a horse careening toward a precipice would employ a bridle to redirect it—using forceful correction when necessary—so should we with our children when they stray into disobedience. Restrain the errant individual until God is appeased; do not permit him to go unbound lest he falls further into the wrath of God. If you bind, God will not bind him further; neglecting to bind will lead to unspeakable chains. Some might argue that he has suffered enough punishment. How long should that be—one year, two, or three? I ask not for the duration, but for the transformation of the soul; ask whether he has repented, whether he has changed, whether he has fulfilled what is needed. If not, then time served is irrelevant. We seek not just repeated treatment of wounds but that healing must occur: if it proves effective in a short period, then the treatment will cease; if it has brought no improvement, the need for care continues even after many years. The worthiness of one in a position of authority is demonstrated best by a sincere affection for those under their care. A father is accountable not just for the children he has brought into the world but for the love he shows them. If love is essential in the natural realm, it is even more crucial in the realm of grace.
Let us therefore encourage one another to cultivate our own virtues and safeguard the purity of our young men. Thus, every vice is born from this neglect. Detrimental habits can escalate over time to such an extent that those who indulge in debauchery may no longer accept any correction, becoming like captives drawn to the wickedness that the devil orchestrates. He ultimately dominates them and plants destructive thoughts that the youth eagerly embrace, focused solely on immediate pleasure, oblivious to future heartaches. Therefore, I implore you to extend a helping hand to children, lest we bear responsibility for their transgressions. Are you not aware of the suffering Eli endured when he failed to adequately correct the faults of his progeny? When an affliction demands a cut, and the physician chooses ointment instead of proper intervention, the ailment can become untreatable. In a similar manner, Eli, by failing to apply appropriate measures to address his children's offenses, dealt too gently with them and consequently suffered with them. Take heed of this example; as caregivers, we must prioritize the upbringing of our offspring. Generally, let each person in community strive for the good of their neighbor, regarding it as their greatest gain, allowing everyone, guided towards virtue, to evade temptations of evil and, attaining virtue, receive profound blessings from above—all of which we may achieve through the grace and mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ, alongside the Father and the Holy Spirit, glory, power, and honor, now and forever, and unto ages of ages. Amen.