THEOSISJohn Chrysostom
Paul, after saying much about widows, defined their age in these words: “Let a widow be enrolled who is not less than sixty years old.” He also showed the qualities of a widow, saying, “if she has brought up children, lodged strangers, washed the saints’ feet” (1 Tim 5:9-10).
Here he again says: “But refuse younger widows.” Yet concerning virgins, although that question was much more important, he commands nothing of this sort. And rightly so.
Why? Because virgins were bound to a higher service, and this rank was established for more exalted purposes. Therefore he omitted such commandments as “lodged strangers,” “washed the saints’ feet,” and all similar things, in view of the zeal of virgins.
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He also did so in view of the saying: “The unmarried woman cares for the things of the Lord” (1 Cor 7:34). If he does not define the time precisely, do not be surprised. This is very clearly disclosed by what was said above.
Still, I have already said that the latter chose virginity for more exalted purposes. Besides, among the former, falls had already occurred, and they themselves gave occasion for the establishment of such a rule.
Among the latter, nothing of this sort had happened. That some had already fallen is clear from the following words: “For when they grow wanton against Christ, they desire to marry.” And again: “For some have already turned aside after Satan.”
“But refuse younger widows.” Why? “For when they grow wanton against Christ, they desire to marry.” What does “when they grow wanton” mean? When they become dissolute and soft.
It is as if someone should say to an honorable husband: send her away, because she belonged to another. Thus the Apostle shows that they chose widowhood lightly, without careful reflection.
Consequently, a widow also, by her widowhood, is betrothed to Christ. “I am,” He says, “the protector of widows and father of orphans.” The Apostle shows that they choose widowhood wrongly and become corrupted, and yet he bears with them.
In another place, however, he says: “I betrothed you to one husband, to present you as a pure virgin to Christ” (2 Cor 11:2). Although, he says, they dedicated themselves to Him, that is, to Christ, “they desire to marry” [...]
Paul does not contradict himself, since he condemns those who chose widowhood and did not wish to stand firm in their intention.
Why then, they will say, did Paul forbid young women to remain widows, even if they wished it, when he wrote, “But refuse younger widows”? Paul did not forbid widowhood to those who desire it. They themselves forced him, against his will, to give them such a rule.
If you wish to know Paul’s own desire, listen to what he says: “I wish that all men were as I myself am,” in continence (1 Cor 7:7). The blessed Apostle does not rise against himself, fall into contradiction, or forbid widowhood to those who desire it.
He himself wishes all men to observe continence. Why then does he say, “But refuse younger widows” (1 Tim 5:11)? Tell me, for what cause and why?
He did not say this simply, but also gave the reason: “For when,” he says, “they grow wanton against Christ, they desire to marry.” Do you see that he forbids remaining widows and belonging to this sacred assembly not to those who wish widowhood?
He forbids it to those who, after being widowed, intend to enter marriage again. He does this very wisely. If you intend, he says, to enter a second marriage, then do not make a vow of widowhood.
To make a vow and not fulfill it is far worse than not to promise at all. Just as he allowed frequent marital relations to husband and wife not as a law, but by condescension to them, saying, “I say this by way of concession, not by command, because of your lack of self-control” (1 Cor 7:5-6), so also here.
He allowed second marriage to avoid another, greater evil. By this he showed that he also did this by condescension, in view of the weakness of many. By weakness I mean weakness not of strength, but of will.
As a virgin who is corrupted after a vow of virginity sins more grievously than adultery, so too a widow who once gave a vow of widowhood and then trampled her covenant with God falls into the same sin.
She is subject to the same punishment, and even, if one may say something astonishing, perhaps to a much greater one. For, as I said at the beginning, it is not the same when one inexperienced and one already experienced fall again into the same temptations.
Not only here, but also in the passage cited above, after the words, “I desire therefore that the younger widows marry, bear children, and manage the household,” the Apostle gives the reason why he desires this.
What is the reason? “To give,” he says, “no occasion to the adversary for reproach” (1 Tim 5:14).