1 Timothy 5:8Meaning & Commentary from the Church Fathers

Isaiah too, the chief of the prophets, says this: “Do not hide yourself from your own flesh” (Is 58:7). Indeed, how can the man who despises those of the same family and his own relatives be merciful to strangers?

Will not everyone call it vainglory if someone benefits outsiders while despising and not sparing his own? Or again, if by instructing the former he leaves the latter in error, although benefiting the latter would be easier and more just? Certainly.

Will they not then say, can Christians be called merciful when they despise their own? “Worse than an unbeliever,” he says. Why? Because the latter, even if he despises strangers, at least does not despise those close to him.

What the Apostle says has this meaning: whoever neglects his own violates both the law of God and the law of nature. If the one who does not care for his relatives has denied the faith and become worse than an unbeliever, then where must the one who wrongs his relatives be placed?

What place will he occupy? But how has he denied the faith? “They profess that they know God,” he says, “but by their works they deny Him” (Tit 1:16).

Meanwhile, what does God, in whom we believe, command? Not to despise those who are bound to us by family kinship. How, then, can the one who denies this believe?

Let all of us consider this, who preserve money and despise our neighbors. God established family ties for this purpose, that we might have more occasions to benefit one another.

Therefore, if you do not do what an unbeliever does, have you not denied the faith? Faith, then, does not consist only in believing by confession. It is also necessary to show righteous works.

In every deed one may both believe and not believe. After speaking of indulgence and love of pleasure, the Apostle says that she perishes not only because she indulges herself, but also because she is compelled to despise her neighbors (v. 6).

He says this justly, because the woman who lived for the belly perished for that reason also, because she rejected the faith. But why does she become worse than an unbeliever? Because despising one near at hand and despising one far off are not the same.

Why is this so? Because it is far more shameful to despise an acquaintance than a stranger, and a friend than an enemy.

Indeed, if an unbeliever gives help both to servants, relatives, and strangers, while you do not care even for those belonging to your own family, what defense will you finally have? Through you God is subjected to blasphemy and reproach.

Look how many occasions for beneficence God has given us. Show mercy to one, He says, as to a relative. Show mercy to another as to a friend, to a third as to a neighbor, to that one as to a fellow citizen, and to this one as to a man.

If none of this moves you, but you tear apart all bonds, then learn from Paul that you are worse than an unbeliever. He, who has heard nothing about almsgiving and nothing about what is in heaven, has surpassed you in love for mankind.

But you, who are bound to love even your enemies, look upon your own as enemies and preserve money more than people. Yet money, when spent, suffers no harm, while a man left without care perishes.

What madness this is, to preserve money and not preserve relatives. From where has this passion settled in us? From where have this inhumanity and cruelty come?

"And is worse than an unbeliever." For the latter, even if he despises strangers, at least does not despise those near to him, being moved, of course, by nature. But this man violates both the law of God and the law of nature, and acts unjustly.

Who will believe that such a man can be merciful to strangers? And if he really is merciful to strangers, is this not vainglory?

Consider: if the one who does not care for his household is worse than an unbeliever, then where should one reckon the man who wrongs his own?

For each person's own virtue is not enough for salvation, if he, being virtuous himself, does not teach and persuade his relatives to become such as well.

This love must flow toward those who are truly near, those among whom we live, and then toward others according to the measure in which they draw near to us and come into contact with us.

This utterly contradicts the modern false teaching that one need not love one's fatherland and native people, but must love all humanity. The followers of this false teaching in fact love no one. They love neither their fellow countrymen, whom their false teaching forbids them to love, nor other people, with whom they have no relation.

When the Apostle urges honor for true widows in verse 3, defines their qualities in verse 5, and especially indicates the age for their selection in verse 9, he plainly has in mind those honorable widows. They were to be objects of the Church's special care and eligible for election to assist the Church's ministers, as deaconesses.

The Apostle speaks separately about widows who have families, with children and grandchildren, and likewise about unreliable homeless women. The first, as wholly given to God and constantly attending divine services, he commands to be respected.

The second he advises to labor in their own household, repaying what is due to parents, and raising and teaching children. For this work is pleasing to God.

Concerning the third kind of widows, the Apostle speaks sternly. As those who do not care for their own blood relatives, they are worse than unbelievers. As those given over to pleasure, they have, as it were, died while still alive to the work of salvation, both their own and the common salvation.

Young widows are discussed separately. The Apostle advises them to marry, lest they fall under Satan's power, as happened to some of them through apostasy from the faith by sensual desire.

Chrysostom says: "If any woman, being a widow, has not turned to worldly life, she is a true widow. The woman who hopes in God and practices prayer is a real widow. Her advantage lies in being deprived even of the happiness children bring, because in place of everything she has God."

As for those who live delicately, "such people have neither soul nor spirit, but live only by the flesh. Scripture calls them soulless, saying: 'My Spirit shall not remain in these men, for they are flesh' (Gen 6:3). They had a soul, but it was dead. Therefore they were called flesh.

"The Apostle says: I command them not to be satiated, because this is an evident sin. Thus it is impossible and wholly unfitting for one who leads a luxurious life to be a partaker of the Mysteries.

"Therefore we too, obeying Paul, shall command that widows who are given over to pleasure be excluded from the number of widows.

"Concerning those who do not care for their relatives, he says: God established the bonds of kinship for this reason, that we might have more occasions to do good to one another.

"Therefore, if you do not do what an unbeliever does, have you not rejected the faith and become worse than an unbeliever? Where then should he be placed, and what rank should he occupy, who wrongs his own household?"

As for the duty I laid upon children and grandchildren to care for the widows in their house, their mothers or grandmothers, this is so binding that if anyone does not act in this way, he has denied the faith and become worse than an unbeliever.

By "his own" and "his household" relatives in general are meant. The household, οικειοι, are those who live in the same house. His own, ιδιοι, are all other relatives who live separately.

Thus the Apostle requires relatives to care for one another and to help those of their own who are in need. Whoever does not fulfill this, he says, has by that very deed denied the faith.

"Such deeds of his are not the deeds of a believer" (blessed Theophylact). Or such deeds expose him as an unbeliever and show that he is alien to the faith. He confesses God with his lips, but by deeds denies Him (cf. Tit 1:16).

Faith requires one to be merciful not only to one's blood relatives, but to all in need. "How can he be merciful to strangers who despises those of the same stock, his own kin?" (Chrysostom).

It is true that someone may pass over his own and do good to strangers, but this is always done for display. "Do not all call it vainglory when someone benefits strangers, yet despises and does not spare his own, although benefiting them would be both easier and more just for him?" (Chrysostom).

Thus one who is unmerciful to his own plainly does not have a believing heart and is the same as an unbeliever. But the Apostle goes further and affirms that such a person is even worse than an unbeliever.

If an unbeliever acted in this way, he would violate only the natural law. But this man, by acting so, violates both the natural law and the written law (cf. Chrysostom).

Compare him with an unbeliever who cares for his relatives by the law of nature alone. How much worse than that unbeliever will he prove to be?

"God established the bonds of kinship for this reason, that we might have more occasions to do good to one another. Therefore, if you do not do what an unbeliever does, have you not rejected the faith and become worse than an unbeliever?

"If the one who does not care for his household has rejected the faith and become worse than an unbeliever, then where should he be placed, and what rank should he occupy, who wrongs his own household?

"It is not the same thing to despise one who is near and one who is far away. It is far more shameful to despise an acquaintance than a stranger, and a friend than an enemy" (Chrysostom). How much more, then, a blood relative.