Yet in my thoughts I seem to hear the Lord answering: "You will follow Me all the more, for this happens in Me so that you may be strengthened. You heard the voice of My strength as addressed to you.
Now hear in Me the voice of your weakness. I give strength so that you may run, and I do not hinder you from hastening. But I take upon Myself what you fear, and I lay out the way to lead you."
O Lord, I see Your mercy. You, who are so great, permitted Yourself to be grieved, in order to give consolation to all the members of Your Body who are worn down by continual weakness, so that they might not perish in despair.
After the Lord Jesus Christ, in yesterday's passage, exhorted His servants to follow Him, He foretold His Passion in these words: "Unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone. But if it dies, it bears much fruit" (Jn 12:24).
After He urged those who wished to follow Him into the Kingdom of Heaven to hate their life in this life, if they hoped to keep it for eternal life, He again lowered His feeling to our weakness.
He said what begins today's passage: "Now My soul is troubled." Why is Your soul troubled, O Lord? For You said shortly before: "He who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life" (Jn 12:25).
Do You then love Your soul in this world, and for that reason is it troubled as the hour approaches for leaving this world? Who would dare assert such a thing about the soul of the Lord?
But He placed us in Himself. He received us into Himself. Being our Head, He took upon Himself the feelings of His members.
Therefore He is not troubled by anyone else. Rather, as was said of Him when He raised Lazarus, He troubled Himself (cf. Jn 11:33). For there is one Mediator between God and men, the Man Jesus Christ (cf. 1 Tim. 2:5).
It was fitting that He should both move us toward what is above and endure with us what is lowest. I hear Him say above: "The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. If the grain of wheat dies, it bears much fruit" (cf. Jn 12:23-24).
I hear: "He who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life" (Jn 12:25). Here I am not only given something to marvel at, but also commanded to imitate it.
By the words that follow, "If anyone serves Me, let him follow Me; and where I am, there My servant will be also" (Jn 12:26), He urges me to despise the world.
He teaches me to see that this whole life is nothing. However long it may be, it is only smoke. In comparison with love for the eternal, every passing thing is of little value to me.
Yet again I hear my Lord, who by those words drew me from my weakness to His strength, saying: "Now My soul is troubled." What does this mean?
How do You command my soul to follow You, if I see that Your soul is troubled? How shall I endure what such strength as Yours barely bears? What foundation shall I find for myself, if the stone is shaken?
Yet it seems to me that the Lord answers my reflections and says to me: "You will follow Me all the more because I so abide in you that you will bear all things.
You heard the voice of My strength addressed to you. Hear in Me the voice of your weakness. I give you strength to press forward, and I do not hold back what makes you hasten.
But I receive upon Myself what throws you into confusion, and I lay out the way so that you may walk." O Lord! O Mediator, God above us and Man among us! I see Your mercy.
By being troubled, though so great, according to the will of Your love, You console many in Your Body who are crushed by their unavoidable weakness, so that they may not perish in despair.
In short, let the man who wishes to follow You hear by what path he must follow. Suppose the fatal hour draws near, and the choice arises whether to commit iniquity or suffer pain.
The weak soul is troubled. For its sake the invincible soul of Christ was willingly troubled. Prefer God's will to your own will.
For see what your Creator and Teacher adds next. He made you, and in order to teach you, He became what He Himself had made. He who made man became man.
Yet He remained unchanged God and changed man for the better. Hear, then, what He added after saying: "Now My soul is troubled." He says: "And what shall I say? Father, save Me from this hour? But for this purpose I came to this hour."