Matthew 19:4Meaning & Commentary from the Church Fathers

What God has joined together, let not man separate’ (vv. 4-6). Be amazed at the teacher’s wisdom! In response to the inquiry, ‘Is it permissible?’ He refrains from saying immediately, ‘You should not,’ fearing they might take offense and cause a disturbance. Instead, before delivering His definitive answer, He clarifies His teaching by revealing that His directive aligns with His Father’s decree and that it complements Moses’ law rather than opposing it.

He underscores His message not only by asserting that God created male and female but also by referencing the command given post-creation. He did not merely declare that God created one man and one woman; rather, He stated that they were commanded to unite as one. If God had intended for a woman to be abandoned in favor of another, He would have crafted one man and multiple women. Thus, through the act of creation and the essence of the law, Jesus demonstrated the permanence of the union between husband and wife, affirming that they should remain bonded for life and never parted. Observe how He states, ‘He who created them from the beginning made them male and female,’ meaning that because they originate from a single source, they should unite as one body. Then, considering the gravity of breaching this command and affirming its law, He did not merely say, ‘Do not dissolve or separate,’ but proclaimed, ‘What God has united, let no one part.’ If you invoke Moses, I invoke the Lord of Moses, and I affirm the timelessness of this ordinance. God created male and female from the start; I am that Creator. This law is the oldest (though it appears to be newly introduced by Me) and is set with utmost seriousness. God did not simply lead the husband to the wife but commanded him to leave his parents; He didn’t just instruct him to approach the wife but enjoined him to cling to her, revealing through His choice of words the indissolubility of their bond. Yet, He went further, calling for a deeper union: ‘the two shall become one flesh.’

Having articulated the ancient law, affirmed by both action and speech, and demonstrated its validity through the One who issued it, He elaborated further with authority, intensifying His assertion by stating, ‘For this cause, they are no longer two but one flesh.’ Therefore, just as it is a grievous act to sever flesh, so it is an offense to part from one’s spouse. He did not stop there; in His affirmation, He invoked God, asserting: ‘What God has joined together, let not man separate.’ Through these words, He reveals that to divorce contravenes both nature and divine law: against nature, as it entails the division of the same flesh; against law, because it attempts to dismantle what God has established and has not sanctioned for separation. What remains to be done? Should we not remain silent and celebrate what has been articulated? Would you not be in awe of such wisdom? Would you not be astonished by this harmony with the Father? Yet the Pharisees do not respond in kind; they continue to debate, asking further questions.

Yet, when Christ perceives that a question necessitates thoughtful consideration, He does not condescend to provide wise responses to the questioners. He said, “Your question reflects a regard for chastity and warrants a lenient answer. However, concerning chastity, I observe that many hold a flawed understanding, and their laws are neither fair nor just. Why is it that the law restrains women while granting men freedom? The wife who transgresses against her husband faces legal repercussions for adultery, yet a husband who does the same is not held accountable. I cannot accept such laws, nor do I endorse such customs. Husbands, having shaped the legislation, have turned the law against their wives, leaving children under paternal authority while neglecting the vulnerable. Contrary to this, God ordained otherwise, declaring, “Honor your father and your mother” (Exodus 20:12)—this is the first commandment accompanied by the promise: it will go well with you, and anyone who speaks ill of their father or mother shall be put to death (Exodus 21:16). Observe how this legislation offers equality, honoring the good and punishing the evil. Additionally, the blessings of a father enrich the homes of his children, while a mother's curses lay them to waste (Sir. 3:9). Consider how just the law is; one Creator fashioned husband and wife, one flesh—both share one image, one law, one mortality, and one resurrection, equally born of husband and wife, with children owing the same duty to both parents. How can you demand chastity while failing to uphold it? You ask for what you do not provide. Why, being of the same esteemed nature yourselves, do you not legislate with fairness? If we assess the faults, both wife and husband fell into sin, with the serpent leading both astray, neither being weaker or stronger. However, if we look at the greater truth, both find salvation through Christ’s suffering. For the husband, He became flesh, and for the wife, He died—salvation through His death is available to both. Christ is acknowledged as the seed of David, which may be perceived as honoring the husband, yet He is also born of the Virgin—honoring the wives!

When questioned about the permissibility of a matter, He did not explicitly declare it impermissible to avoid inciting dispute and anger, but rather guided them gently by referring to the creation of humanity in the beginning. What does He convey? Is it not evident that He who formed them from the inception created male and female? This indicates that from the start, there was one man for one woman. If God had intended for a man to dismiss his wife to take another, He would have created more women from the outset. The fact that He did not suggests His desire that a husband remain committed to his wife.

He created just one man and one woman. "If God intended for a man to abandon his wife and take another," St. Chrysostom asserts, "He would have fashioned one man and multiple women." Notice, there exists one Creator of both husband and wife; one essence in them; one law governing them, one death, one resurrection; and the same obligations must be fulfilled by children to both their father and mother, as it is written, "Honour thy father and thy mother," and "Whoever curses his father or mother must be put to death" (Exodus 20:12, Exodus 21:17). Likewise, "The blessing of a father establishes the homes of his children, but the curse of a mother lays them to waste" (Sir. 3:9). If you argue, "The wife has sinned, and the husband has sinned; there was nothing to indicate one was weaker and the other stronger," as St. Gregory the Theologian states, you observe that before God’s Law, both stand on equal footing. It is proclaimed that Christ descends from the lineage of David, and He is also referred to as the Seed of the Woman.

The term "I created" refers to humanity as a whole, encapsulating both the male and female forms, indicating that the Lord fashioned humanity as a unity comprising both genders, inherent and interdependent. Thus, while we can observe distinctions between noble and honorable husbands and those who may be undervalued and looked down upon, the original design encompassed both male and female as essential and dignified parts of God's creation.