Sin may promise sweetness, along with its own semblance of honor, but in truth, it is always aligned with bitterness and shame—often hidden, but inherently present. In everyday human interactions, when someone has acted wrongly, we may say they have “smeared their face in the mud.” Similarly, a sinner evokes shame in the spiritual sphere, standing before the omniscient God, angels, saints, their own conscience, and all of creation imbued with goodness and light. The penitent sinner, upon awakening to this reality, first recognizes this shame and feels remorseful, yearning to shed this humiliation quickly. While still grounded in the normalcy of life, this disgrace may not weigh heavily; however, the thought of standing before God's Judgement consumes them with dread as they contemplate facing the congregation of the purest beings in existence. Therefore, they cry out, “Take away my reproach,” yearning for liberation from shame associated with sin.
St. Athanasius explains that the prophet, aware of having sinned, comprehends that reproach will follow him into God’s judgment at the resurrection, thus he prays for its removal. “Take away the reproach” signifies not just forgiveness, but a profound cleansing—removing sin entirely so that one may return to their true nature, as created in God's image, free from the filth of sin that they have taken upon themselves. While forgiveness of sins is granted instantly upon true repentance, the purification of the soul demands effort, akin to the labor of washing clothes. Of course, God, in His abundant grace, can swiftly cleanse the soul in an instant, but who would presume to seek such miraculous intervention?
The shame the prophet seeks to remove is aptly described by the term “Nebeschevah.” To ‘unshepherd’ implies contemplation or speculation. The prophet acknowledges that though no immediately apparent sins confront him, he remains aware of an underlying gloom—implying that sinful shame may be embedded deeper than his conscious acknowledgment. Thus, he prays for liberation from this hidden disgrace as well. St. Hilary articulates that the prophet, in seeking relief from reproach, is simultaneously praying for the elimination of sins since shame follows sin. The prophet does not reference a specific act but rather acknowledges unknown transgressions stemming from human frailty; he expresses that he cannot ignore the reproach that accompanies this state of weakness.
St. Ambrose echoes this sentiment, suggesting that the prophet desires absolution from the shame incurred by simply contemplating sin, even if not physically enacted. This encompasses all mental sins—lustful thoughts, desires, and involuntary sinful inclinations. Consequently, the prophet's prayer serves as a reiteration of another invocation: “From my secret sins cleanse me” (Psalm 18:13). St. Ambrose may find this notion complex, yet it is clarified through the Apostle’s declaration: “For I know nothing against myself, yet I am not justified by this” (1 Cor. 4:4). The man, well-aware of human nature, does his utmost to avoid transgression after baptism, yet he humbly recognizes that he is still a sinner. He acknowledges that only Jesus Christ, who committed no sin, remains truly blameless (1 Pet. 2:22). Likewise, the prophet, notwithstanding his striving against sin, seeks divine reflection to cast away all sin. Although the reproach has been lifted through repentance, he harbors uncertainty about hidden reproach that may still loom over him, prompting his prayer for its removal by the Lord, who alone comprehends what he may not.
The plea may also encompass the “unshepherding” of his thoughts, as he requests, “Take away the sin I may have conceived in my heart and mind, though I have not transgressed in actions.” On what foundation does the prophet place his hope for such mercy? Primarily, upon the boundless goodness of God. Apparent sins are absolved through His goodness, while concealed sins are removed by that same goodness. What can one offer to atone for sinful shame? Absolutely nothing. Even if one is unaware of the extent of their good deeds, they remain merely due to the One who states, “When you have done all that you ought to do, say, ‘We are unworthy servants’” (Luke 17:10); your sins remain sins, fixed in place like carvings in your life. Who will extricate them from your existence? Only God's goodness, manifested through the Son’s sacrificial death, who bore our sins on the cross and erased their record, implores divine truth to cast away our filth. Let your faith be fervent, drawing in that goodness; invoke the truth to confront your sins and ask it to consume them in the purifying fire drawn from Christ's cross. “There is no other name under heaven... by which we must be saved” (Acts 4:12).
Blessed Augustine acknowledges that humanity has succumbed not to merely one sin but many, leading us to be shrouded in reproach and shame. Yet, upon baptism, all sins and reproaches are absolved: “The Lord Jesus took away my reproach through His own when He was crucified on the cross: ‘For if we have been baptized into Christ, we have been baptized into His death’” (Rom. 6:3); thus, there was nothing remaining that required removal. Nevertheless, following baptism, one may return to reproach and must repent, earnestly asking for this disgrace to be lifted. Repentance serves as my sole sanctuary; failure to do this will only heighten the reproach of sin I bear. What fear should accompany the confession of sins before Him, whose judgments are good? What is bitter to others can be sweet in Christ, for He embodies the essence of sweetness. “Taste and see that the Lord is good” (Psalm 33:9). The judgments of God are gratifying to the penitent soul because He proclaims, “I am He who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and I will not remember your sins. Put Me in remembrance; let us contend together; state your case, that you may be acquitted” (Isaiah 43:25-26). God’s judgments are delightful not just for the repentant, but for all in heaven, as the Lord assures, “There is joy in heaven over one sinner who repents” (Luke 15:7). If God's judgments possess such sweetness, let us strive diligently to partake of that beautiful fruit.
These reflections, in light of the verses at hand, provide a definitive guide on achieving a purified life. Let us commit our zeal to please God, relying on His ever-effective, multipurpose grace. Let us dedicate ourselves to acts of righteousness and asceticism, not for selfish gain but entirely for God’s glory, motivated by reverential fear. Concisely, one might say: Live righteously, and you shall be saved. Yet, this declaration can be met with conscience’s reality for those who are saved, who, despite their efforts, see themselves falling repeatedly. To aid in the purification from all such falls, another vital practice is suggested within these lines: continual repentance. As soon as one becomes aware of any fault or impurity, hasten to repentance, praying with a broken spirit, “Take away, O Lord, this filth, according to Thy goodness!” This discipline clears away all debris from life’s path. This principle encapsulates various forms of spiritual practice. A person armed with this discipline can be said to have donned all of God’s armor. Conversely, one devoid of it reveals an unreliable arsenal, lacking this essential weapon that is crucial for triumph.
THEOSIS