Psalm 39 (38):5Meaning & Commentary from the Church Fathers

The destination he refers to is that which the Apostle focused on during his pilgrimage, acknowledging his weaknesses as he recognized a dissonance within himself compared to his earlier pursuits. He expresses, "It is not that I have already attained, or am already perfect. Brethren, I do not consider myself to have achieved" (Philippians 3:12-13). If the Apostle admits he has not attained, should we then assume we have? If he is imperfect, does that make us perfect?

And what of the count of my days? I ponder the totality of my days—what is that total? I can discuss this quantity even while it eludes a straightforward definition, much like speaking of years while being aware that they cannot truly be numbered. Where years exist, there is always a semblance of measurement. Yet, You remain unchanged, and Your years do not fade away. Reveal to me the count of my days; help me to comprehend its significance. What is it, then? Is it not that very number in which you find yourself? If I reflect deeply, this number seems non-existent; if I dwell upon it, it takes on a form of being; if I transcend it, it loses all substance.

As I cast off the chains of worldly concerns and contemplate the eternal, comparing the fleeting with the temporal, I see that which truly exists, contrasting it with that which merely appears to be. Should I claim these days as my own and hasten to apply this profound term to the present? I have almost ceased to recognize myself in my frailty, forgetting the One who declared, "I AM THAT I AM" (Exodus 3:14).

So is there a number to my days? Indeed, a boundless number exists. Everything is a succession of moments rushing one after another; an eternal stream of existence flows continuously. It is from this current that He drank along the way and now lifts His Head. These days lack true substance; they vanish almost before they manifest; and once they arrive, they cannot persist; they collide with each other, follow in haste, and cannot be confined.

Nothing from the past returns; that which is yet to come is awaited as something destined to perish again: it has not yet been grasped, nor has it arrived; it cannot be held when it finally descends. He inquires about the count of his days, pondering the paradox of existence that is both there and not at the same time. We cannot affirm that there is something that does not endure; nor can we deny its existence when it has come to pass.

It is the absolute Being, the One who truly exists in the fullest sense, that I desire; that which resides in the New Jerusalem, the Bride of my Lord (Revelation 21:9); where death and decay are absent; there exists a day that will never fade away, one that knows no yesterday or tomorrow (Revelation 21:25). This is the meaning of my days; in essence, behold and recognize me.

I seek to understand what is required of me. While I strive within this world, I feel this absence; and as long as I lack it, I cannot claim perfection. Until I acquire this insight, I assert, not that I have already reached maturity, or am already complete; I am pressing on toward the prize of the heavenly calling of God. This motivates me to pursue the award of the race! There exists a final resting place to conclude my journey, a place devoid of pilgrimage, strife, or temptation. Help me to know the number of my days, so that I may grasp what I am missing; for I have not yet arrived. May I not take pride in what I am, but rather be found in Him, apart from my own righteousness (Philippians 3:9).

David also received the tongue of fire, ignited by the fervor of divine wisdom, prompting him to say, "Reveal unto me, O Lord, my end." His inquiry was not about his death, for there is no conclusion for those who have been resurrected. Rather, he sought to understand the end of which the apostle spoke: "For this is the end, when the Lord Jesus will deliver the kingdom to God and the Father, having put an end to all rule and authority... and the last enemy, death, will be abolished" (1 Cor. 15:24, 26), leading to the eradication of evil and the emergence of eternal goodness. Thus it is written, "Sorrow and sighing shall flee away" (Is. 35:10; cf. Rev. 21:4). To this purpose, Paul also endeavored, asking, "Who will make me rejoice, but the one who causes me sorrow?" (2 Cor. 2:2). While lamenting grief and sorrow, he urged the necessity of repentance to attain the irrevocable mercy and salvation that God bestows without regret. True fulfillment encompasses everyone, not just an individual. Why did David say, "The end is mine"? He spoke as a man, sharing in humanity, representing all and achieving the fullness of a perfect human being.

This is why the psalmist indicated that he would grasp the number of his days (Psalm 38:5). He sought understanding of how many days were left, how many were lacking for completeness—not those of this earthly life, from which the prophet David sought release: "Woe to me that my sojourn has lasted!" "I have dwelt with the inhabitants of Kidar" (Psalms 119:5). Thus, he wished to discern the count of days, not nights. In this life exist both days and nights; however, in eternity, there is only perpetual light. Hence, he inquires, "What is it?" (Psalms 38:5). He refers to the number of days, not how many days might pass; for "heaven and earth will pass away" (Matt. 24:35), yet faith will endure, as will the day of Christ, for He remains "the same yesterday, today, and forever" (Heb. 13:8). Understand the quantity he seeks: "In my Father's house are many dwellings" (John 14:2). The Lord Jesus provides each person a place, tailored to individual merits; each in their own order (1 Cor. 15:23). Christ ascends to prepare a place for believers, affirming, "If I go and prepare a place for you, I will return and receive you to Myself, that where I am, there you may be also. And you know the way to where I am going" (John 14:3-4). Thus, a pathway exists through which the risen Christ ascends. He rises above the heavens to God's throne, while people journey from the first heaven to the second, then from the second to the third, often reaching seven heavens. Those who are deemed worthy may ascend to the highest parts of heaven. Knowledge of both the paths and the dwellings corresponds to the count of days through which one ascends to the celestial heights.

It is suggested that there exist successive realms where each will find repose according to their deeds. We must endeavor toward that which embodies perfection, which embodies truth. Here demonstrates a shadow, here exhibits an image, yet there unfolds the truth: a shadow in the law, an image in the gospel, and truth in heaven. In the past, a lamb was sacrificed, a calf was offered, yet now Christ Himself is the sacrifice, presented as a man, one who endures suffering; He presents Himself as a high priest to atone for our transgressions, revealing here in the image, and there in the reality, where He will intercede for us alongside the Father. Thus, we exist in the image, navigating through the image, perceiving in the image; there we will be face to face, where complete perfection resides, for all perfection is found in truth. Therefore, while we remain here, let us uphold the image to encounter the truth. May we reflect the image of righteousness and wisdom, for the day will arrive when we are evaluated according to our image. Let not your adversary detect his likeness in you; avoid wrath and anger, for these embody the visage of evil. The adversary, the devil, prowls like a roaring lion, searching for whom he may consume (1 Pet. 5:8). Ensure he finds no greed for gold, no piles of silver, no idols of vice, nor strip away your liberty, as true liberty is declared when you assert, “The ruler of this world is coming, and he will find nothing in me” (John 14:30). Therefore, if you are confident he will discover nothing upon his visit seeking you, you may pose to him what the patriarch Jacob addressed Laban: “Investigate whether there is anything of yours in me” (Gen. 31:32). Jacob is rightly blessed, for Laban was unable to find any claim upon him, as Rachel concealed the idols of gold and silver that belonged to Laban.