John Chrysostom
First he praised them because they had the same joys and the same sorrows as he. Having said beforehand, "my joy is the joy of all" (v. 3), the Apostle then begins to speak about the incestuous man.
If my joy, he says, is also your joy, then you must now rejoice together with me, just as you then grieved together with me.
As at that time you brought me consolation and joy by your grief, so now you will do the same by your joy, if only you share in my joy.
The Apostle did not say, "My sorrow is the sorrow of you all." Yet he expressed the same thing elsewhere in other words.
Here he mentioned only what was needed, namely joy, saying that "my joy is the joy of you all."
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After this he recalls what he had said before: "But if anyone has caused grief, he has not grieved me, but in part, lest I burden you all."
I know, he says, that you also were grieved with me and were indignant at the one who fell into fornication. This matter in part grieved all of you.
However, I said "in part" not because your grief was less than mine, but so as not to burden the one who fell into fornication.
Thus he did not grieve me only, but you in equal measure. I said "in part" only out of condescension toward him.
Do you see how quickly the Apostle softened their anger by saying that they too were sharers in his sorrow?