Ephesians 5:21Meaning & Commentary from the Church Fathers

Here, in servitude, there is fear and slavery. Here everything is done by necessity. There everything is done by free choice. Here they serve under compulsion. There they serve out of love for one another.

This is what God also willed, and therefore He washed the feet of the disciples. More than this, masters too, if you wish to consider carefully, are obliged to repay one another with mutual service.

What would happen if pride did not allow mutual repayment? When someone performs bodily service, you nourish his body. You care for food, clothing, and footwear, and this is one kind of service.

If you do not fulfill your service, he will not fulfill his. No law will compel him to serve if you do not feed him. If this happens with regard to slaves, what is improper if the same happens with free men?

"Submitting," he says, "in the fear of Christ." What kind of mercy is this, when we also have recompense for service? But he does not want to submit to you?

You submit to him, and do not merely obey, but subject yourself. Serve all as masters, and soon you will have them as servants, enslaved by a power stronger than that of the harshest tyrant.

You will gain them still more if, while receiving nothing from them, you give them what is yours.

"Submitting to one another in the fear" of Christ means that we should bridle all the passions, serve God, and nourish love for one another. Then we shall be able to be counted worthy of God's love for mankind, by the grace and compassions of our Lord Jesus Christ, with whom to the Father, together with the Holy Spirit, be glory, dominion, and honor, now and ever, and unto the ages of ages. Amen.

Therefore he himself, with the same love, serves all the Churches from among the Gentiles. Likewise the Savior took the form of a servant, so that He ministered to His disciples and washed their feet (Jn 13).

The difference between the rulers of the pagans and Christians is that the former lord it over those subject to them, while we serve them. We are the higher, the more we seem to be the least of all.

His words "in the fear of Christ" must be understood to mean that even submission itself must be not for human glory, but for the fear of Christ, since we fear to offend Him.

Someone else may explain the words "submitting to one another in the fear of Christ" by saying that this general judgment is divided into parts in the following discourse: wives should submit to their husbands, children should obey parents, and slaves should obey earthly masters in fear and trembling (Eph 5:22; 6:1-5).

But in our opinion, submission must not be only in this sense, that the wife submits to the husband, children to parents, and slaves to masters.

Rather, husbands also must be mutually subject to wives, according to the duty that is commanded. Fathers must be subject to children, so as to leave off threats and provide them with necessary things from what they have.

This must be done in the fear of Christ. As He was obedient to His servants, so those who appear greater must submit to those lesser than themselves in the service commanded to them.

We may also understand this fear in the sense of eulabeia, that is, reverent timidity, which is nearer to love. For it was unfitting for the Ephesians to do anything out of fear and not out of love.

He established precisely these marital relations, and no others. In the union of marriage He assigned the wife the second place after the husband.

How should the husband’s headship in Christian marriage be understood? Only as primacy, which is inevitable in every union and society consisting of several persons.

It is not domination, nor superiority in rights that weighs upon those subject to it.

The husband is the natural head, or first member, in the marital union because the chief burden of marital duties rests upon him. The wife cannot bear these, given the relative tenderness of her nature and the weakness of her physical powers.

The holy Apostle Paul makes very clear the idea of such caring and loving headship in the man.

Being the Head of the body, His Church, what else is Christ for it? He is also the Savior of this body. So too the husband is head of the wife because he is bound to be her caretaker.

Therefore it would be not only groundless, but plainly imprudent, for her to seek equality with her husband. In that case, unbearable burdens of life would fall equally upon her shoulders together with his.

Thus, in the apostolic words about the husband’s headship over the wife, one hears no diminution of woman’s rights. On the contrary, one hears their safeguarding and defense. For men, one hears the instruction of the duties that flow from their headship.

Husbands must love their wives (Eph 5:25), first, with fidelity, “as Christ also loved the Church and gave Himself for her.”

According to the explanation of Bishop Theophan, “not to have one’s own will is the root law in mutual Christian relations. How to fulfill this commandment is the matter of Christian wisdom. Yet it is beyond doubt that he who sacrifices himself and his own for others never loses, if he does all this in the fear of God.”

Then, applying this principle of Christian life first of all to the wife, St. John Chrysostom says: “The Apostle began with wives either because ‘be subject’ applies more directly to them, or perhaps to show the wife’s high significance in family life. For when she is in good order, everything in the house is in order. In Christianity, the wife’s obedience takes on a special character, since it flows from the fear of God and is ranked with works pleasing to God, done directly for the Lord Himself.”

St. John Chrysostom says: “If one who resists even external civil authorities resists God’s command (Rom 13:2), much more does she who does not obey her husband. God has required this from the beginning.”

“The Apostle set before husband and wife, as the foundation of their happiness, love and care. He assigned to each what is fitting: to the one, authority and care; to the other, obedience.”

Theophylact writes: “As Christ, being Head of the Church, provides for her and saves her, so the husband is the savior of the wife, his own body. How then should this body not obey the head?”

This lesson concerns not only members of a household, though their relations flow from it, but embraces all Christians. Let each submit to another, that is, never insist on his own will, but bend his will beneath the will of another.

Thus, not having one's own will is the root law in mutual Christian relations. The Apostle indicates no limitation to this law, unless the words "in the fear of God" are accepted in this sense.

This means not from people-pleasing, not in hope of some advantage, nor for any other outward consideration, but solely from the fear of God. It means from the conviction that this is God's will, not only generally, but in each particular case.

To acquire such conviction, in every case one must see that another's desire or demand, before which our will must bow, will bring him essential benefit, whether temporal or eternal, if it is fulfilled.

Submission under this condition will flow from the Christian duty of self-denial and love, which is commanded to extend even to laying down one's life for a brother. The strength of these obligations stands upon the fear of God.

How to fulfill this commandment of mutual submission perfectly amid the most varied combinations and entanglements of circumstances belongs to Christian wisdom. Yet this much is beyond doubt.

He who sacrifices himself and what is his for others is never at a loss, if he does everything according to the fear of God. For there is an all-seeing Eye, and even a cup of water will not remain without recompense at the time most needed for each one.

St. Chrysostom says: "If you submit because of subordination, money, or shame, then all the more submit because of the fear of God.

Let not one occupy the place of a free man and another that of a slave. Rather, let there be among you a fellowship of friends serving one another, where there is no anger, irritation, or exasperation.

Let all act by free choice and out of love for one another. Serve all as masters, and soon you will have them as servants. You will gain them still more if, while receiving nothing from them, you give them what is yours.

'Submitting to one another in the fear of Christ' means that we should bridle all the passions, serve God, and nourish love for one another. Then we shall be worthy of God's love for mankind" (abridged).