Ephesians 5:23Meaning & Commentary from the Church Fathers

He established precisely these marital relations, and no others. In the union of marriage He assigned the wife the second place after the husband.

How should the husband’s headship in Christian marriage be understood? Only as primacy, which is inevitable in every union and society consisting of several persons.

It is not domination, nor superiority in rights that weighs upon those subject to it.

The husband is the natural head, or first member, in the marital union because the chief burden of marital duties rests upon him. The wife cannot bear these, given the relative tenderness of her nature and the weakness of her physical powers.

The holy Apostle Paul makes very clear the idea of such caring and loving headship in the man.

Being the Head of the body, His Church, what else is Christ for it? He is also the Savior of this body. So too the husband is head of the wife because he is bound to be her caretaker.

Therefore it would be not only groundless, but plainly imprudent, for her to seek equality with her husband. In that case, unbearable burdens of life would fall equally upon her shoulders together with his.

Thus, in the apostolic words about the husband’s headship over the wife, one hears no diminution of woman’s rights. On the contrary, one hears their safeguarding and defense. For men, one hears the instruction of the duties that flow from their headship.

Husbands must love their wives (Eph 5:25), first, with fidelity, “as Christ also loved the Church and gave Himself for her.”

According to the explanation of Bishop Theophan, “not to have one’s own will is the root law in mutual Christian relations. How to fulfill this commandment is the matter of Christian wisdom. Yet it is beyond doubt that he who sacrifices himself and his own for others never loses, if he does all this in the fear of God.”

Then, applying this principle of Christian life first of all to the wife, St. John Chrysostom says: “The Apostle began with wives either because ‘be subject’ applies more directly to them, or perhaps to show the wife’s high significance in family life. For when she is in good order, everything in the house is in order. In Christianity, the wife’s obedience takes on a special character, since it flows from the fear of God and is ranked with works pleasing to God, done directly for the Lord Himself.”

St. John Chrysostom says: “If one who resists even external civil authorities resists God’s command (Rom 13:2), much more does she who does not obey her husband. God has required this from the beginning.”

“The Apostle set before husband and wife, as the foundation of their happiness, love and care. He assigned to each what is fitting: to the one, authority and care; to the other, obedience.”

Theophylact writes: “As Christ, being Head of the Church, provides for her and saves her, so the husband is the savior of the wife, his own body. How then should this body not obey the head?”

Although Christ is the Savior of the body, that is, of the Church, which a husband can never be in relation to his wife, nevertheless (Άλλ) the wife must obey her husband in all respects, as the Church obeys Christ.

The husband is compared with Christ, and the wife with the Church. The point of comparison is headship: the husband is head of the wife, as Christ is Head of the Church.

Yet the Apostle does not write simply what is, but what ought to be. Therefore his words should be understood thus: the husband is head of the wife in the same sense in which Christ is Head of the Church.

But Christ is Head of the Church as the Savior of His body. Let the husband also be head to the wife because he is her savior.

In this let the husband find the foundation of his headship, and the wife the motive for obedience.

After saying, “the husband is head of the wife, as Christ is of the Church,” the Apostle needed only to draw the conclusion: therefore let wives obey their husbands in everything, as the Church obeys Christ.

This he does in the following verse. But he intentionally added the statement that explains why Christ is Head of the Church.

By it he gives Christian foundation to the husband’s headship and a most moral motive to the wife’s obedience, namely: “He is the Savior of the body.”

Christ is Head of the Church because He is the Savior of this body of His. He became Head through saving those who were saved, and the saved became His members through salvation.

By placing the husband’s headship over the wife alongside Christ’s headship over the Church, as her Savior, does he not indicate that the husband must show himself the wife’s savior?

Then the wife too will see in him her savior. In the feeling that he is her defense, guardian, and shelter, and that behind him she stands as behind a mountain, she must hold and enliven her obedience to him.

Theophylact writes: “As Christ, being Head of the Church, provides for her and saves her, so the husband is the savior of the wife, his own body. How should this body not obey the head that cares for it and saves it?”

“Thus,” says St. Chrysostom, “he set before husband and wife, as the foundation of their happiness, mutual love and care. He assigned to each what is fitting: to the one, authority and care; to the other, obedience.”

The same thought is found in Blessed Theodoret: “The divine Apostle presented this example with great wisdom. It is sufficient both to instill reverence for their husbands in wives, and to place tender love for their wives in husbands.”