John Chrysostom
"But I do not know what to choose." What are you saying? You will depart from here to heaven and be with Christ, and you do not know what to choose? No, this is not proper to Paul's soul.
Who would not choose this, if someone told him of it and firmly assured him of it? Certainly no one. But it is not in our power either to depart and be with Christ, or to remain here when the time comes. For Paul and his soul, however, both were possible.
What then are you saying? You know and are sure that you will be with Christ, and yet you are perplexed and say, "I do not know what to choose"? More than this, you even resolve to remain here, that is, to abide in the flesh.
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Why would this be? Did you not lead a bitter life? Was it not "in vigils," in shipwrecks, "in hunger and thirst, in nakedness," in cares and anxieties? With the weak you were weak, and over those who stumbled you burned.
"In great patience," he says, "in afflictions, in necessities, in distresses, under blows, in prisons, in banishments, in labors, in vigils, in fastings, in purity, in prudence, in longsuffering, in kindness, in the Holy Spirit, in sincere love." "Five times I received forty lashes less one. Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I suffered shipwreck. A night and a day I spent in the deep. I was often on journeys, in dangers on rivers, in dangers from robbers, in dangers from my own people, in dangers from pagans, in dangers in the city, in dangers in the wilderness, in dangers at sea, in dangers among false brethren" (2 Cor 6:4-6; 11:24-26).
When the whole Galatian people turned to the observance of the law, did you not cry out: "You who are justified by the law have fallen from grace" (Gal 5:4)? How many tears you shed then. And after all this, do you still desire this passing life?
Even if nothing of this had happened to you, but you had accomplished all your works safely and with pleasure, should you not, out of fear of the unknown future, hasten toward some harbor?
Tell me, what merchant, having a ship filled with countless treasures, would still wish to remain at sea when he is near the harbor where he can enter and rest? What athlete would wish to continue the contest when he has already earned the victor's crown?
What fighter would wish to enter battle again and break his head when the crown is being placed upon him? What general would keep wearying himself and fighting when he could be freed from war with honor and trophies, and taste rest with the king in his palace?
How then do you, leading so bitter a life, still wish to remain here? Was it not you who said: "Lest, after preaching to others, I myself should be disqualified" (1 Cor 9:27)? If for no other reason, then for this one reason alone you should have desired release.
Even if the present life were filled with countless blessings, even then one should desire to be loosed from them for the beloved Christ. O soul of Paul! There was none equal to it, nor will there be.
You are surrounded by countless troubles, and you fear the future, and you do not wish to be with Christ? No, he says. This too is for Christ, in order to strengthen still more in good disposition those whom I have made His servants, and to make fruitful the field I planted.
Have you not heard that I seek not my own profit, but that of my neighbors? Have you not heard that I could wish to be cut off from Christ, if only many might be converted to Him? If I resolved on this, then with far greater pleasure I will resolve to sacrifice my delay and my remaining here, if only it may serve in any way for their salvation.
"Who shall tell the mighty acts" of You, O Lord (Ps 105:2), that You did not hide Paul from us, that You revealed such a man to the inhabited world? All the angels praised You with one accord when You created the stars and the sun, yet not so much as when You revealed Paul to us and to the whole inhabited world.
Through this the earth became more radiant than heaven. Being brighter than the light of the sun, he sent forth most brilliant flashes and poured out bright rays. And what great fruit did he produce for us? He did not fatten plants or nourish trees. He both brought forth and ripened the fruit of piety, and he continually raised up what was falling.
Indeed, the sun can in no way restore a fruit-bearing tree once it has rotted. But Paul turned away from sins people covered with countless sores. The sun yields to night, but Paul conquered even the devil.
Nothing crushed him. Nothing overcame him. The sun, remaining on high, stretches its rays downward. But Paul, ascending from below, did not merely fill the space between heaven and earth with light. As soon as he opened his mouth, he filled even the angels with great joy.
How so? If "there is joy among the angels of God over one sinner who repents" (Lk 15:10), then when by his first preaching he caught many, how did he not fill the powers above with joy?
And what am I saying? It was enough for Paul simply to begin speaking, and the heavens leapt and rejoiced because of it. "When Israel went out of Egypt... the mountains skipped like rams" (Ps 113:1, 4). When people were being transferred from earth to heaven, what joy do you think there was?
This is why he says, "to remain in the flesh is more necessary for you." After this, by what shall we justify ourselves? Often a man who owns a small and not wealthy estate does not resolve to move elsewhere, valuing his own comfort.
But Paul could depart to Christ, and did not wish to go to Christ. To Christ, whom he loved so much that for Him he was ready even for Gehenna. He remained to struggle further for people. By what, then, shall we justify ourselves?
But is it possible to speak of Paul simply and in general terms? See what he did. First he said that to depart was better for him, persuading them not to grieve. Then he says that if he remains, he remains solely for them, and that this cannot be attributed to the malice of deceitful men.