Psalm 38 (37):9Meaning & Commentary from the Church Fathers

Scripture illustrates that the apostle considers the manifestation of the Holy Spirit, above all, as deep sighs. Therefore, let us safeguard our souls from allowing our confessions to be compromised through excessive words. We must ensure that nothing arrogant or conceited escapes our lips. We shall not wield an axe or hammer, for such tools have no place within the Lord's assembly, as referenced in 2 Samuel 6:7. When we pray, let us close the doors (Matthew 6:6) to prevent an unholy spirit from intruding, as it can drive away the desire for holiness. He who prays earnestly in this manner will not conceal his groans from the Lord. The Lord heard and understood the anguish of St. Peter when he wept deeply (Matt. 26:75); it was not the tears themselves that were bitter, but the heartache behind them. Even the cries of the cunning Ahab might have led to forgiveness if his enduring malice hadn’t stood in the way (3 Kings 21:27).

It is not hollow groaning that is praiseworthy, but rather groaning that triggers a transformation of heart, for it is written, "If you turn back, you will be saved" (Isaiah 30:15). Let us also lay bare our desires before the Lord. What kind of desires? I have read what constitutes a good desire: "I have earnestly desired to eat this Passover with you" (Luke 22:15), along with "As the deer pants for streams of water" (Psalm 41:2). I believe that one who repents and humbles himself should focus not on his possessions, but on the wrongs he has committed. This seems to be what these lines teach us, as they express, "O God, I will recount my life to You! You have numbered my tears in Your bottle" (Psalm 56:8). The psalmist is not claiming his life is devoid of sin; typically, tears are shed as an offering for transgressions. Unless we consider that even a righteous person cannot be certain of being free from the daily conflict with the most formidable foes. Thus, while his conscience may be clear and filled with joy, he is still destined for a lamentable struggle.

As Cyril noted, a conscience that torments the heart leads to inner groaning. The person entirely trapped in sin, charged by their conscience for offending God, cannot be indifferent. Rather, they carry a spirit heavy with sorrow and a heart filled with torment; hence, they seem to produce a growl from the depths of their being, expressing a muffled voice that arises from the innermost parts of their heart. I do not confess aloud, he states, to gain recognition from others; instead, having closed my eyes to the world, I express my inward groanings solely to You, who knows all that is hidden.

St. David reflects, stating: “And behold, when this was revealed before my eyes, I could not but give myself up to the crushing feelings of sorrow for my sins.” His anger stemmed from the realization of his own wickedness and folly—how could one allow themselves to fall so low? He humbled himself, seeing himself as a mere, insignificant being, devoid of self-confidence, in stark contrast to his former state. His heart surged with feelings of remorse, shame, fear, and regret over sinning against God, leaving him in a miserable condition. His sighs transformed into anguished cries as he lamented: “I am ashamed, a man gifted with reason, to be subjected to such beastly movements." Consequently, he mourned due to the torment of his conscience and could not stifle the cries of his anguished heart. This sincerity is evidenced by his actions after the prophet’s departure when he scattered ashes on his head and devoted himself to mourning, experiencing a deep hunger and thirst for repentance, lying on the ground and embracing strict penitential practices.

Consequently, he feels deep anguish and humbles himself to the earth, recognizing that it is disgraceful for a rational being to be subjected to such animalistic urges. This leads him to groan in affliction, unable to restrain the sighing of his heart, and he vocalizes his distress like a beast, letting out a powerful cry. The rabbis and their adherents interpret this as a physical and shameful ailment that David endured in his reproductive organs; however, the holy fathers—Ambrose, Jerome, Augustine, and Gregory—connect these expressions to the carnal desires, asserting that David's lament resembles the one addressed in the Apostle’s letter to the Romans, specifically Romans 7:23-24: “I see that I am sick, and I can’t bear it. 7:23-24, ‘I see the law in my mind against the law of my mind, and the sinful law which is in my mind captivates me. I am a repentant man: who shall deliver me from this body of death?’”

Any soul that lacks the sanctifying influence of the Holy Spirit becomes corrupt, filled with the stench of wickedness and vain thoughts, infested by harmful spirits that intrude and torment it. The condition of the sinner's soul resembles that of an animal, suffering from wounds and decay. The wounds of sin lead to a state of decrepitude and grotesqueness, tormented by a guilty conscience and humiliation. However, should one embark on the journey of repentance and embrace virtue, the Lord will provide support in overcoming the passions. This message encourages us not to conceal our sins or harbor them in the depths of our hearts as decay, but to fearlessly confess them. The prophet expresses deep anguish from the weight of internal turmoil, feeling the withdrawal of the Holy Spirit’s light because of his sins. The term "neighbors" can refer to angels, who distance themselves from humanity due to its transgressions, as demons seek out souls, intensifying their assaults. Each day, there are machinations against the faithful. We witness the longsuffering of Christ throughout His passion, echoing the cry of Adam and his descendants, longing for salvation from Christ and deliverance from hell, enabling the triumph over sin, condemnation, and death.