THEOSISGregory the Great
Until You choose to show mercy upon me and allow me a moment of respite, until I have consumed my own saliva. Job 7:19. The saliva flows from the head to the mouth, and then from the mouth, it is swallowed into the stomach. Who is our head if not God, the source of our very being? As Paul affirmatively states, the head of every man is Christ, and God is the head of Christ (1 Cor. 11:3). The stomach symbolizes our mind, which, by receiving sustenance—namely heavenly insights—actively governs our actions through reason. If Scripture didn't sometimes refer to the mind as the "belly," Solomon would not have proclaimed, "The spirit of man is the candle of the Lord, searching all the innermost parts" (Proverbs 20:27).
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The illumination of divine grace reveals not just our presence but also the hidden depths of our minds.
What, then, can be understood by the term 'saliva' other than the essence of internal reflection? It descends from the head to the mouth, emerging from the radiance of the Creator, making contact with us during our earthly existence and imparting the taste of revelation. Therefore, upon His Coming, the Redeemer combines saliva with clay to restore the sight of a man born blind (Jn. 9:6). This grace brings illumination to the hollow spaces of our hearts through the contemplation of Himself, restoring humanity’s vision from its earlier state of blindness. As the holy teacher informs us, saliva reaches the mouth, yet it must not be swallowed to enter the stomach, for divine contemplation awakens the senses but does not rejuvenate the mind completely—it is beyond the soul’s grasp due to the veil of corruption that obscures its full understanding, offering only fleeting glimpses.
Consider how the soul of the chosen has cast aside worldly cravings; it rises above all transient forms, elevating itself beyond the allure of external pleasures. It earnestly seeks the unseen goodness, and in doing so, is swept away into the sweetness of divine contemplation. All too often, she perceives glimpses of the spiritual realm as if through a haze, burning with longing to join the celestial beings, to experience the Unknowable Light, only to be pulled back into herself. The body, constrained by decay, weighs heavily on the soul, preventing it from fully aligning with the light of which it briefly catches sight. The fragility of the flesh binds the soul, compelling it back into earthly concerns and desires. Thus, the saliva flows from the head into the mouth yet fails to reach the stomach—our understanding is indeed moistened by the dew of heavenly thought, but the soul is left unsatiated. The mouth may taste, but fulfillment resides in the stomach; hence we cannot 'swallow our saliva,' for we cannot be filled with the brilliance of heaven, only experiencing its flavor without the ability to consume it.
However, as we begin to grasp a hint of the divine above us, this is bestowed by the grace of the all-merciful One. Although we cannot achieve complete understanding due to the remnants of the original curse, it is rightly expressed: “How long wilt Thou not spare me, and leave me alone until I have swallowed my saliva?” Essentially, it signifies that a man shall find true rest when he is granted the full measure to contemplate You, allowing him to behold Your glory within and break free from fleshly corruption. "Then You will leave me alone until I have swallowed my saliva," signifying that You will completely fill me with the fragrance of Your radiance, ensuring that I will no longer experience spiritual hunger, which leaves me tasting but not feasting, always abiding in You with a full belly. To receive this desired good, one must first acknowledge the wrongs he has committed. Thus, it continues: