Matthew 5:32Meaning & Commentary from the Church Fathers

For if the Apostle permits the divorce of a wife if she be unbelieving, (though indeed it is better not to put her away,) and the Lord forbids any divorce but for the cause of fornication, unbelief even must be fornication. And if unbelief be fornication, and idolatry unbelief, and covetousness idolatry, it is not to be doubted that covetousness is fornication. And if covetousness be fornication, who may say of any kind of unlawful desire that it is not a kind of fornication?

This raises the question of whether a woman in a relationship with a man who has been abandoned by his wife can be labeled as an adulteress; in fact, the blame generally lies with the one who abandoned their spouse, as the reason for forsaking the marriage is significant. If a woman leaves because of mistreatment and cannot bear the abuse, she should strive to endure rather than separating from her husband. If financial loss is the reason, this is not a satisfactory justification. Even if she departs due to her husband's fornication, Church customs do not mandate separation; rather, a wife may remain with an unfaithful husband since it remains uncertain what may come next (1 Corinthians 7:16). Thus, a wife who leaves her husband to marry another is considered an adulteress, whereas if a husband departs, he may be regarded with compassion, and the woman living with him is not condemned. However, if the husband, after leaving his wife, takes another, he commits adultery by virtue of his actions, and the woman with whom he cohabits is also an adulteress, since she is linked to another man’s spouse.

The Interpretation of the Ninth Rule states that, according to the Lord's words, both spouses are equally held accountable, except in cases of adultery where the bond can be dissolved; however, customs regarding adultery typically do not dissolve the relationship for the male adulterer. Should a woman remain united with her husband only through her actions, she is not deemed an adulteress; the guilt lies in her if she abandons her husband without cause, but if she takes another partner, she is seen as an adulteress, while the husband she unites with is absolved. Conversely, if a husband divorces his wife and marries another, he faces condemnation as an adulterer, as does the woman living with him, due to her connection to another’s husband.

It is clear that while the Lord equally condemns both those who separate from their spouses without the cause of adultery, Church teachings prescribe different practices. If a husband indulges in fornication and adultery, he does not compel his wife to leave his side. Yet, if a wife chooses to couple with another man, she is instructed to be released from her bond and is not permitted to keep her husband. Thus, even if a wife separates from her husband due to his infidelity and he pursues another woman, it is sinful for her to forsake her husband, and she should remain with him, even despite his infidelity, as the husband may be forgiven for taking another wife. If she goes on to marry someone else, she commits adultery without justification. However, if a husband separates from his wife without the grounds of adultery, and enters into marriage with another, he too becomes an adulterer, and the wife he has left can also be guilty of such acts if she finds another husband. Both spouses maintain equal liability under the established laws of marriage. In contemporary times, neither spouse may dissolve their union unless justified by similar fault, under the new directive of Justin.

It is my belief that a woman abandoned by her husband should remain celibate. For when the Lord stated, "If any man let his wife go, except by the word of an adulterer, he shall commit adultery" (Matthew 5:32), He thereby labeled her an adulteress, forbidding her from engaging with another man. For it is illogical that the husband would be guilty of adultery while the wife remains innocent, particularly when she has been termed an adulteress by the Lord due to her relations with another.

A man and woman, or a husband and wife, should not separate unless either party is proven guilty of adultery or faces a legitimate obstacle to holiness (Matthew 5:31-32): "It is also said, If a man divorce his wife, let him give her a bill of divorce. But I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for the guilt of committing adultery, gives her occasion to commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery." (Lk. 14:26): "If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, and even his own life, he cannot be My disciple." (Matthew 19:9): "I say unto you, Whosoever shall divorce his wife not for adultery, and marry another, committeth adultery; and he that marrieth her that is divorced committeth adultery." (1 Cor. 7:10-11): "But to them that are married I command not, but the Lord commandeth, that the wife shall not divorce her husband; but if she divorce her husband, she shall remain celibate, or be reconciled to her husband; and that the husband shall not leave his wife."

In holding each party accountable for their actions regarding marital fidelity, He reinforces harmony between spouses and ensures that unfaithfulness is not condoned. A husband who remains devoted to his wife will not desire another, and one prohibited from marrying a divorced woman will be less likely to abandon his own wife.

However, if he chooses to take another wife after letting her go, he himself will be guilty of adultery.” “What if the wife, having been released, repents and desires to return to her husband? Should he accept her?” He replied, “If the husband refuses to accept her, he incurs a grave sin. A sinner who repents ought to be welcomed, but this should not occur multiple times. For the servants of God, repentance is intended to be singular. Thus, a husband should not take another wife after releasing his first, and the same applies to the wife. Yet, it is vital to understand that adultery transcends mere physical infidelity; one who behaves like the pagans also commits adultery. Therefore, you must avoid association with anyone who engages in such acts and refuses to repent, lest you also partake in their sin. You are instructed to remain unmarried, whether husband or wife, for this allows the possibility of repentance. I provide no justification for this, but let him who has sinned refrain from sinning further. Concerning previous sins, there exists a God who can bring healing, for He possesses authority over all things.

From the Savior's words, it becomes clear that God did not endorse divorce even in the Old Testament; rather, He allowed it to prevent the Jews from committing even greater sins due to their stubbornness. Jesus Christ, who established the New Covenant, aimed to restore His Church to the purity and innocence lost through Adam’s sin. He sanctified Christian marriage and made it indissoluble. Just as the original marital union, ordained by God in Eden, was meant for the procreation of innocent offspring, so too is Christian marriage intended to bring forth children within the Church of Christ, blessed by the grace of Baptism. This is why St. Paul refers to Christian marriage as a profound mystery, reflecting the union between Christ and the Church. He instructs husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the Church, sacrificing Himself for her salvation, and to remain united with her, bearing her weaknesses with boundless compassion. Likewise, he exhorts wives to submit to their husbands as the Church submits to Christ, in all virtue and holiness, so that holy offspring may arise from their blessed union, destined for eternal life (Eph. 5:22-33).

The sanctity and purity of the marital bond are paramount, as God established the union of husband and wife, blessing and sanctifying it for life: “and the two shall become one flesh; what God has joined together, let no man separate.” The sole reason the Lord permits divorce is in cases of infidelity; when either spouse is unfaithful, the sacred bond of marriage may be severed. Nevertheless, even in such circumstances, the Church, which serves as the guardian and interpreter of Christ's Law, mandates that the offending spouse is barred from remarrying. As St. John Chrysostom notes, Christ closed the door for the wife of an unfaithful man to take another husband in an effort to uphold her fidelity and purity, even against her own desires. Thus, Christ the Redeemer does not abolish the old law but uncovers its original rigor, purity, and sanctity. By allowing divorce solely on the basis of adultery, He underscores the significance of chastity. If a husband were compelled to retain such a wife, who had engaged in multiple relationships, he would be promoting adultery.

In contrast, the New Testament Lawgiver does not primarily address the obligation for a husband to provide his wife with a letter of divorce, nor does He focus on the repercussions of a divorce already enacted; rather, He emphasizes the motives behind divorce and the very concept of divorce itself. He identifies the core of marriage in the responsibilities entrusted to both spouses by the Creator of this sacred union (Matthew 19:4-5), with the fulfillment of these responsibilities leading to heavenly rewards, thus they should be valued above any earthly pleasure. Therefore, spouses are unable to dissolve their bond, similar to how no individual can disregard the duties mandated by divine law. "But I say unto you, that whosoever letteth his wife go, except for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery, and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery" (Matthew 19:9). The primary intent of the marital bond—and, consequently, the foremost duty of the spouses—is to refrain from fornication for themselves and to protect one another from it. Yet, when a husband sends his wife away, what is his culpability according to the Lord’s teachings? He bears guilt because he commits adultery; thus, he fails not only to safeguard his wife from fornication but also leads her into it. Clearly, he is accountable for this as a source of temptation. Should such a wife enter another marriage, that union will be deemed adulterous, for Jews differentiate between adultery and legitimate cohabitation based on shifts in marital partners (John 4:16-18). However, a husband who sends away his wife is held responsible for her adultery only if it occurs after the divorce, as a result of that action. If her adultery or fornication initiated during the marriage, he is no longer culpable for it. It is therefore clarified, "Except for the cause of fornication.” This phrase confines the husband’s accountability for the actions of his ex-wife and permits divorce in part, particularly as a means of absolving the husband from the obligations stemming from an unfaithful wife. This allowance is further elaborated in Matthew 19:9, where the phrase "except for the cause of fornication" illustrates the husband’s innocence when he not only releases an unfaithful wife but also enters into another marriage.