Therefore he first says what this Onesimus is now. By this he covers his former unseemly image, awakening instead the most attractive and tender thoughts about him: “my child,” a child “begotten in my bonds.” After these words, even if the name of Onesimus aroused some unpleasant feeling and impulse toward severity, that severity could no longer touch him without touching Saint Paul himself. Thus every harshness of the master toward the slave was disarmed by love and reverence for the Apostle, who had taken so closely to himself a useless servant, now become useful, that he had him as his own child.
Saint Chrysostom says: “Having thus softened Philemon’s soul by what was said before, the Apostle does not immediately declare the name of the slave, but delays even after such a request. You know how great the anger of masters can be against runaway slaves, especially if this was done with theft. They are greatly provoked, even if they are good masters. Therefore Paul strives to soften him by every argument. When he had awakened in him readiness to do whatever might be asked, and had prepared his soul for every obedience, then at last he fully states his request.”
“I beseech thee.” “It is no great thing if one of the simple bows his head. But it is worthy of praise when a lofty man humbles himself. The Apostle beseeches the one whom he had authority to command, so as to give examples in all things to those who strive for perfection” (Ambrosiaster).
I beseech thee “for my child.” “Who shall tell the mighty acts of the Lord?” (Ps 105:2). Who can worthily praise God’s love for mankind? One who deserved punishment for undermining a wall suddenly became Paul’s child” (Theodoret).
Both the humble word “I beseech” and this heartfelt phrase “for my child” had to act victoriously upon Philemon’s heart, since he too knew himself to be Saint Paul’s child. Loving Saint Paul, he could not fail to be lovingly disposed toward his child, even if he himself had not stood in the same relation to him. Now Paul’s child had to awaken kindred feelings in him, since he too had the same beginning of birth. Onesimus now had to appear to him not as a slave, but as a brother.
Below the Apostle does call him this, but here he limits himself to pointing out that Onesimus is his child. “In this way the Apostle not only calms his anger, but also awakens in him a kindly disposition. I would not, he says, have called him son if he were not very promising. As I called Timothy, so I call him also” (Saint Chrysostom).
“Whom I have begotten in my bonds.” “Even bonds did not hinder spiritual birth” (Theodoret). “I have begotten,” that is, having begotten him anew by water and the Spirit. “I instructed him by the Gospel, and, when he believed, commanded him to be baptized in the laver of regeneration” (Theophylact). “When he fled to divine help, Saint Paul, being under guard in the city of Rome, baptized him, foreseeing in him a vessel useful for good service” (Ambrosiaster).
“I have begotten him in my bonds.” He mentions this as a mother speaks of the pains of birth. Every child born is dear, and still dearer is one born in difficult circumstances. “Again, for persuasion, the Apostle points to his bonds, as if saying: Onesimus is worthy of great honor also because he was begotten amid the very struggles. He must be loved especially because he was begotten amid trials for Christ. For it is known that we have a special love for children born amid dangers from which we have escaped. Thus Rachel calls her beloved Benjamin ‘son of her sorrow’ (Gen 35:18)” (Saint Chrysostom).
“Onesimus.” See when he finally says the very name! (Saint Chrysostom). By derivation Onesimus means useful, fruitful. Was this not what gave Saint Paul occasion to add below that, if he was once useless, this was accidental? Now he is no longer so, and he no longer bears such a name in vain.
THEOSIS