THEOSISAugustine of Hippo
The Bounds of Longing There exists a distinction between those who have faith in You and those who lack such belief. Though the risks may be similar, their confidence is not; they may exert equal effort, yet their aspirations differ. The hopes of the wicked shall fade away, while the hopes of the righteous invite doubt if the Anointed One is untrustworthy. The boundaries of our longings are defined by the Anointed One Himself. He will offer Himself, for He has already offered Himself; He will bestow Himself, eternal, to the eternal, as He previously bestowed Himself, mortal, to mortals.
I find myself in a state of sorrow as the adversary relentlessly bombards me with daily temptations. He stirs up either illicit desires or unfounded fears, and though my soul grapples with both, without yielding to them completely, it remains in peril and recoils from anguish, questioning God, “Why?” It is fitting for her to pose this question and then to hear God's response of “Why?” In the psalm, she seeks to understand her despair, proclaiming, “Why hast Thou rejected me? And why do I mourn?” Let her also draw wisdom from Isaiah, allowing the insight just shared to resonate within her. “For I will not contend forever, nor will I always be angry; for the spirit would grow faint before Me, and the souls which I have made” (Isaiah 57:16).
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Thus, when you ask, “Why have You cast me off and why do I walk in sorrow?” understand that it is due to iniquity. Sin brings forth mourning; let righteousness be the wellspring of your joy!
You might wish to sin while simultaneously desiring to evade suffering; thus, it is never sufficient for you to be unjust, nor would you want Him to act unjustly, as you would dread the punishment that would follow. Let us turn to another psalm that expresses a different sentiment: “It is good for me that Thou hast humbled me, that I may learn Thy righteousness.” In my elevated state, I became aware of my transgressions; now, having brought myself low, I seek to learn of Thy righteousness. Why do I grieve when the enemy is upon me? You lament over your foe, and it is true that he disturbs your peace; yet, you have granted him access (Eph. 4:27). Take heed, there is still a path available to you: choose the way of wisdom; acknowledge your Sovereign and cast out the oppressor.
To accomplish this, listen closely to your own words—what you ask and what you pray for. Pray for that which you hear; let it resonate with all of us: “Oh, send out Your Light and Your Truth. Let them lead me to Your holy mountain and to Your dwelling.”