THEOSISAugustine of Hippo
I seek my Creator in every being, whether in the heavenly realms or on the earth, but I do not find Him; I look for His essence within my spirit, and still, I do not encounter Him. As I contemplate my pursuit of God, desiring to perceive the unseen purpose of the Almighty through His creations, I rise to the depths of my soul, where there is nothing left for me to grasp but my God. For there lies the dwelling of my God above my spirit; there He resides, from which He observes me, from which He fashioned me, from which He oversees me, from which He teaches me, from which He compels me, from which He beckons me, from which He gathers me, from which He leads me out, and from which He brings me back in.
Eternal Celebration In the dwelling of the Lord, there exists an everlasting delight, one that is not fleeting or temporary. This perpetual celebration is embodied by the melody of angels; being in the presence of God's face brings unblemished joy. This sacred day is characterized by its timelessness; it neither has a beginning nor an end.
In a longing to understand his Creator, he expressed, “Remembering this, I pour out my soul above me” (cf. Ps. 41:5). Thus, to connect with my God, of whom I have been asked, “Where is your God?” I do not direct my spirit to my earthly being but elevate it; I transcend my own limitations to find Him. For above me is He who formed me, and no one can approach Him without first rising above themselves.
When would my spirit arrive at that ultimate aim which transcends my very essence if I had not sought to transcend myself? For if it were to remain focused solely on itself, it would perceive nothing beyond its own reflection, and in that self-examination, it would neglect the desire to witness the Divine. Let my adversaries challenge me now, asking, "Where is your God?" Indeed, let them speak! Even when I cannot perceive Him and my joy remains elusive, I turn my tears into sustenance day and night. They may keep questioning, "Where is your God?" I search for Him in every form of existence, be it earthly or celestial, and yet I find Him not; the One who is known through creation (Romans 1:20) I have poured out my soul beyond the confines of itself, with no one left to seek but my God.
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For there lies the abode of my Lord, His sanctuary above my soul; from that height, He perceives me, from there He fashioned me, from there He directs and provides for me, from there He communicates with me, calls me forth, and leads me along my path to my journey's conclusion.
In my longing to reach God, I ask myself, why did I pour out my spirit? For I will enter into the presence of Your sanctuary. I would be mistaken to search for my God outside His holy dwelling. For I will approach the abode of Your wondrous tabernacle, the house of God. I will proceed, He says, into the marvels of His sanctuary! Even now, there are countless wonders in the tabernacle that capture my admiration. Look at the splendid marvels that bring me joy within it! For the earthly tabernacle of God consists of the faithful; I find delight in their obedience, even manifested through their physical actions: that sin does not reign within them to yield to its desires; nor do they surrender their members as instruments of unrighteousness, but rather to the living God through righteous deeds (Romans 6:12-13). I am awestruck by how the members of the body serve the soul in their devotion to God.
Yet, though the tabernacle astounds, stepping into the house of God leaves me utterly amazed. Regarding this sanctuary, the Psalmist reflects upon a prior troubling inquiry (specifically, why do the wicked prosper on earth while the righteous suffer?), asserting, "I pondered this in my heart; it was oppressive to me until I entered the sanctuary of God" to finally comprehend the reality. For there, within the sacred space, lies the source of discernment. There he grasped the final truth, resolving the paradox of the wicked’s fortune and the righteous's trials. How is this reconciled? The wicked, when they are spared here, are reserved for eternal punishment, while the righteous, experiencing hardship, are instead being tested to ultimately receive their inheritance. It was in the sanctuary of God that he grasped this truth.
He recounts his journey and the guidance received there, as if to say, "You cherish the earthly tabernacle; how did you enter the sanctuary of God?" He answers with joy and praise, rejoicing like one at a feast. Here, when celebrations are purely self-indulgent, people often adorn their homes with musical instruments or choirs to entertain, leading to a raucous display of revelry. When we pass by, what do we inquire? What event is happening? We learn it is a celebration; they proclaim it is a birthday or wedding. These songs seem fitting, offering justification for lavishness during festive occasions. In the house of God, the feast is eternal; no occasion is celebrated only once to fade away. The heavenly choir offers a continuous feast—a joy that cannot be diminished, nor is it heralded by the dawn or diminished by nightfall. From this everlasting celebration, a sweet and melodious melody reaches the hearts of the faithful, steadfast against the cacophony of worldly distractions. As one dwells in this tabernacle contemplating the divine works for the redemption of the faithful, the exaltation of this feast enchants the ear and fills the heart with longing.
Yet, dear brethren, even while we reside in this mortal body, we are distant from the Lord (2 Corinthians 5:6). This perishable form weighs heavily on the soul, and the earthly tabernacle burdens the mind with distractions (Ecclesiastes 9:15). Though we attempt to disperse the clouds of uncertainty, yearning to experience that sacred sound, we often find ourselves retreating into the mundane, returning to our familiar state. Just as we locate joy in the sanctuary, we inevitably encounter sorrow here. The dear one who has made tears his daily sustenance, drawn by the desire for the streams of living water (that is, the spiritual delights of God), pours forth his spirit, striving to reach what is above him. The soul that journeys to the marvelous sanctuary, the house of God, guided by the sweetness of the inward spiritual sound, strives to rise above all earthly concerns and aspires towards higher realities yet remains human—still agonizing here, enduring the frailties of the flesh, and vulnerable amid the wickedness of this world (Matthew 18:7). Thus, he reflects on his own state, as if he has returned from a higher realm, examining his current afflictions and pondering the blessings he has seen and experienced.