Augustine of Hippo
I was saddened by my endeavors and distressed (Psalm 53:2). Where was I downcast, where was I troubled? 'In my endeavors' he states. He refers to the wicked individuals he endured, and the same trials posed by those wicked individuals he identifies as his endeavors. Do not think that there are evil individuals in this world who serve no purpose and that God cannot bring good from their existence. Every wicked person either lives to seek his own transformation, or he lives to reveal a good person through his actions. Oh, if only those who currently challenge us would instead join us in our endeavors!
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Nevertheless, while they still have the capacity to act, let us not harbor hatred towards them, for we do not know how long any of them might continue in their wickedness until the end; often, when one believes that he despises his enemy, he actually despises his brother without realizing it. The devil and his minions are disclosed in Scripture as being destined for eternal damnation. We should not harbor hope for their amendment. Therefore, since this principle of Love remains with you, that, by imitating the Father, you should love your enemy: for He said, love your enemies (Luke 6:27), in this command, how would you find any exercise if you had no adversary to endure? Observe that this will indeed benefit you; may God, who is patient with the wicked, assist you in extending mercy: for it is possible that you, as a good person, have transformed from a wicked person into one who is righteous; and if God did not exhibit mercy toward the wicked, you could never repay them. Hence, let Him show mercy to others, for He also spared you. For it has not been beneficial to hinder the path of righteousness. Why does this individual, amid wicked men, by whose hostility he was sustained, pray? Why, he questions, am I troubled in my endeavors, and perplexed? While he expands his love to embrace his enemies, he is overwhelmed by disgust, encircled by the hostility of many men, their madness, and in some human frailty, he has faltered. He witnessed himself now besieged by the malevolent thoughts of the devil, which sought to incite hatred towards his enemies: wrestling with animosity to perfect love itself, he finds himself confounded in this very struggle. His voice also resonates in another psalm: ‘My eye is troubled with anger.’ And what follows there? I have grown old in the presence of all my adversaries. Amid a tempest and surging waves, he began to sink like Peter (Matthew 14:30). For he who walks upon the waves of this world loves his enemies. Christ walked fearlessly upon the sea, from which the love for his enemy could not be stripped, who while hanging on the Cross implored, Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do (Lk. 23:34). Peter also advanced. He, the Head; Peter, the Body: for upon this rock, He declared, I will build My Church (Matt. 16:18). He was commanded to go forth, and he ventured by the grace of that command, not through his own strength. Yet when he perceived a fierce wind, he was filled with fear; and then he began to sink, unsettled by his endeavors. What fierce wind? By the voice of the enemy, and the anguish of the sinner (Psalm 53:3). Therefore, just as he cried out amidst the waves, ‘Lord, I perish, save me’ (Matt. 14:30), preceded by this very plea of a man, ‘Hear me.’ Why? What troubles you? What causes this lamentation? I became sorrowful amidst the endeavor. In the midst of wicked men you have placed me, but they have risen against me, beyond my strength: comfort the troubled, extend a hand to the drowning. For they have inflicted iniquity upon me and pursued me in anger. You have heard of the waves and the winds: one was humbled as if insulted, and he prayed: from all sides insults assailed him with great ferocity, and he inwardly implored Him whom they did not see. But this man, troubled and grieving, prayed, and his eyes were troubled as if with anger. Yet the anger of a brother, if it hardens, becomes hatred. Anger distorts perception, hatred extinguishes it: anger is like a twig, hatred like a log. Sometimes we find ourselves hating and reproving an angry person: you harbor hatred, while he carries anger; thus it is rightly said about you: first remove the log from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the twig from your brother's eye (Matthew 7:5). This distinction between anger and hatred is crucial: day by day, people may experience anger towards their children, but show me those who truly hate their children! This man, in distress, prayed even amidst his grief, battling against all the insults from the wrongdoers; not to overcome them with retaliatory words, but to harbor no hatred towards any of them. Hence, he prays, seeking refuge from the voice of the enemy, and from the distress of the sinner. My heart is troubled within me.