THEOSISGregory the Great
In beautifully portraying the richness of contemplation, you have led me to mourn once more my fallen condition, as I become acutely aware of what I have forfeited within, despite having, perhaps unworthily, ascended to the pinnacle of authority outwardly. Understand that I am overwhelmed with such deep anguish that words escape me; shadows of grief envelop my spirit. Everything my gaze touches feels sorrowful, and all that should bring joy appears to be filled with despair. I consider the bleak position I have attained in the world, having fallen from the height of my true peace.
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Cast into the exile of toil away from the presence of the Lord due to my sins, I echo the prophet's lament for the devastated Jerusalem, saying, I weep; my eye, my eye pours out waters, for far from me is the comforter (Lamentations 1:16). Indeed, my dear friend, I feel as though I have lost my children, having turned away from the path of righteousness for worldly concerns. Hence, do not refer to me as Noemi, meaning ‘pleasant,’ but call me Mara, for I am overwhelmed with grief.