1 Corinthians 7:9Meaning & Commentary from the Church Fathers

Do not be surprised that, both above in the words, "I wish that all were as I myself am," and here, "it is good for them if they remain even as I am," he nowhere gives the reason. He does this not from vainglory, but because he considers his own judgment sufficient reason, since he has justified it by deed.

If anyone wishes to hear judgments also about this, the marriage of the widowed, let him first consider the opinion of all people concerning it. Then let him consider everything connected with the matter.

Although lawmakers do not punish such marriages, and even permit and excuse them, many people both in houses and in the marketplace speak much about such unions with mockery, reproach, and disgust. Everyone shuns such people almost as much as perjurers. They scarcely dare to enter friendship with them, make contracts with them, or trust them in anything else.

When someone sees that they so easily erased from their soul such habit, friendship, cohabitation, and communion, a certain numbness comes over him from these thoughts. He can no longer approach them with full sincerity, as he would approach people who are frivolous and changeable.

People recoil from them not only for this reason, but also because of the unpleasantness of what happens among them. Tell me, what could be more unbearable than this? After great lamentation, cries, tears, disheveled hair, and black clothing, one suddenly sees applause, bridal chambers, and commotion. Everything is opposite to what came before, as though actors on a stage were playing now one role and now another.

There you may see the same man now as a king, now as the poorest beggar. So here, the one who recently lay beside the grave suddenly becomes a bridegroom. The one who tore his hair again wears a crown on the same head.

The one who, with downcast and sorrowful eyes, and often with tears, spoke many praises of his departed wife to those who consoled him, saying that life was no life for him, and resenting those who restrained him from mourning, is often adorned and dressed again before those very same people.

As before he looked at them with tears in his eyes, so now he looks at the same people with a smile. With the same lips by which he once cursed all such joys, he greets everyone in friendship.

What is most grievous of all, strife is brought in among the children. Beside daughters appears a lioness, for such a stepmother usually is. From this come daily disputes and quarrels. From this comes strange and utterly unreasonable hostility toward one who no longer troubles anyone.

Ordinarily, the living persecute and are persecuted by envy, while even enemies are reconciled with the dead. But here it is not so. Dust and ashes become the object of hostility. Unspeakable hatred is directed against one who is buried.

There are evil words, accusations, and slanders against one dissolved in the earth. There is implacable enmity against one who causes no sorrow to anyone. What could be worse than such folly and such cruelty?

She has not been wronged at all by the dead woman. What am I saying, not wronged? She profits from her labors and enjoys her goods. Yet she does not cease fighting against her shadow. She daily pours out many accusations against one who caused no sorrow, and often whom she never even saw.

She takes vengeance on one who no longer exists through her children. Often, if she herself is unsuccessful, she arms the husband against them. Yet all this seems light and bearable to people, if only they need not endure the pull of desire.

The virgin does not fear this opposition. She does not flee this struggle, which seems so unbearable to many, but nobly stands forth and enters combat with nature. Can one marvel at her according to her worth, when others need even a second marriage so as not to be inflamed, while she, without experiencing even one marriage, always remains holy and unharmed?

Therefore, first of all, in view of the rewards prepared in heaven for widowhood, the Apostle, having Christ speaking within him, said: "It is good for them if they remain even as I am."

You could not ascend to the very highest degree of perfection? At least do not fall from the one that comes after it. Let the virgin have this one advantage over you: desire never once overcame her. It overcame you before, but could not hold you forever in its power.

After defeat, you also conquered. She has a victory pure from every defeat. Touching you at the end, she surpasses you only in the beginning.

Thus the Apostle gives many consolations to those who have entered marriage. He does not deprive them of one another without mutual consent. He does not extend even this deprivation by consent for a long time. Again, he permits them a second marriage if they wish, so that they may not be inflamed.

But to those who live in virginity he gave no such consolation. After that continence, he releases the former from it again. Yet he leaves the virgin, without the slightest relief, to struggle throughout her whole life, to stand unwaveringly, and to be troubled by desires. He gives her not the least rest.

Why did he not say also to her, "If she cannot exercise self-control, let her marry" (1 Cor 7:9)? Because when a wrestler has already stripped, anointed himself, entered the arena, and been covered with dust, no one would say to him, "Rise and flee from your opponent." Each of them must now come out either crowned, or fallen and put to shame.

In children's play and in the gymnasium, where people train with intimates and wrestle with friends as though with enemies, each person is free either to contend or not to contend. But when someone has already bound himself, the theater has assembled, the director of the contest has appeared, the spectators have taken their seats, and the rival has been brought out and set opposite him, then the law of the contest removes the wrestler's freedom.

So also with the virgin. While she has not yet decided whether to enter marriage or not, marriage is permitted without hindrance. But when she has chosen and devoted herself to virginity, she has already brought herself into the arena.

Who would dare, when the spectacle is opened, when angels look down from above and Christ presides over the contest, when the devil rages and gnashes his teeth, stands in view, and rushes to battle, to step into the midst and say: "Flee from the enemy. Abandon your labors. Withdraw from the encounter. Do not throw down and overcome your adversary, but yield him the victory"?

Why do I speak of virgins? No one would dare say such words even to widows. Instead he would say these fearful words: "When they grow wanton against Christ, they desire to marry, having condemnation because they have rejected their first faith" (1 Tim 5:11-12).

Meanwhile the Apostle himself says, "I say to the unmarried and to widows: it is good for them if they remain even as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry." Again he says, "If her husband dies, she is free to marry whom she wishes, only in the Lord" (1 Cor 7:8-9, 39).

Why, then, does he again subject to punishment the woman to whom he gives freedom? Why does he condemn as lawless the marriage of which he says that it is "in the Lord"?

Do not be troubled. This is not the same marriage, but another. When he says, "If a virgin marries, she has not sinned" (1 Cor 7:28), he is plainly not speaking of the virgin who has renounced marriage. Everyone knows that such a virgin would sin by this, and would sin gravely.

He is speaking of one who has not yet experienced marriage and has not yet decided either way, but stands wavering between these two thoughts. So also there he speaks of a widow who simply has no husband, has not yet bound herself by a decision of her own will, and is free to choose either course.

Elsewhere he speaks also of one who no longer has authority to be joined again with another bridegroom, because she has entered upon the contests of continence. One may be a widow and yet not belong to the rank of those who have the dignity of widows, if she has not yet received it.

Therefore he says, "Let a widow be enrolled if she is not less than sixty years old, having been the wife of one husband" (1 Tim 5:9). He permits the simple widow to enter marriage if she wishes. But one who has vowed to God perpetual widowhood and afterward enters marriage, he strongly condemns, because she has trampled upon her covenant with God.

Thus to the former, not to the latter, he says, "But if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn" (1 Cor 7:9).

Do you see that marriage in itself is nowhere praised by him, but is permitted to avoid adultery, temptations, and lack of self-control? He says all this above. Here, after uttering severe reproaches against them, he again speaks of the same thing in gentler terms, calling their state burning and inflammation.

Yet even here he did not leave the hearer without reproach. He did not say, "If they feel some impulse of passion," or "if they are compelled," or "if they cannot abstain," or anything of the kind, which belongs to sufferers and deserves indulgence. What does he say? "If they cannot exercise self-control." This belongs to those who do not wish to act because of negligence.

He shows that they do not fulfill a matter that lies in their power because they do not wish to labor. Nevertheless, even then he does not punish them and does not condemn them to torment. He merely deprives them of praises and limits his displeasure to verbal reproaches.

He nowhere mentions childbearing, that fair and honorable reason for marriage. He speaks only of burning, lack of self-control, adultery, and satanic temptation. To avoid these, he permits marriage.

What then, they will say? If he delivers us from punishment, we shall gladly endure every condemnation and every reproach, provided only that we may be permitted to enjoy and continually satisfy desire.

But what, most honored man, if it is not permitted to enjoy, and we reap only the reproach? How, you say, is it not permitted to enjoy, when Paul says, "If they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry"?

Listen to what follows. You have learned that it is better to marry than to burn. You accept what is pleasant, approve the permission, and marvel at the Apostle's condescension. But do not stop there. Accept what follows also. Both commands belong to one and the same Apostle.

What does he say after this? "To the married I command, not I but the Lord, that the wife should not separate from her husband. But if she does separate, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband. And the husband must not put away his wife" (1 Cor 7:10-11).

He did not forbid those in the world to enter lawfully into marriage. Nor did he restrain those who have renounced the world from continence, when he said, “Each has his own gift from God, one in this way and another in that.”

He gives permission to those in the world, saying, “Because of fornication, let each man have his own wife” (1 Cor 7:2).

And again: “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled. But God will judge fornicators and adulterers” (Heb 13:4).

To those who have renounced the world he proposed continence, saying, “Everyone who competes exercises self-control in all things” (1 Cor 9:25).

Thus, according to what has been said above, the apostolic word depicts two arenas.

Therefore you also, monk, must know and understand in what rank you have been placed. Know what the sign, the form in which you are clothed, means.

Know for what purpose those vows exist, and that covenant which you made with God, according to which He will require an account from you.

As the Savior said, “Out of your own mouth I will judge you” (Lk 19:22).

Therefore, according to what has been said above, the Apostle permitted those in the world lawfully to enter marriage, and those who have renounced the world to practice continence.

If the words “for it is better to marry than to burn” gave permission to everyone, then no one would have struggled in virtue.

Neither Elijah the Tishbite, nor Elisha, nor John, nor all those who made themselves eunuchs for the Kingdom of Heaven and kept their flesh pure before God would have done so.

Nor would the Apostle himself have practiced continence if he had not looked toward the recompense.

Let us not think to say what some put forward as a pretext. They say, “Those men were righteous, but I am a sinner.”

They became righteous because they conducted their present life righteously and holily.

What then shall we say? That the righteous were bodiless and not clothed with a body?

Listen to what the Apostle says: “For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh.

For the weapons of our warfare are not fleshly, but mighty through God for the pulling down of strongholds” (2 Cor 10:3-4).

From this it is clear that they too were fought against, since they bore flesh upon themselves. Yet they resisted.

Therefore the Apostle also says: “But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, after preaching to others, I myself should become disqualified” (1 Cor 9:27).

Guiding us to virtue, he says: “Be imitators of me, as I also am of Christ” (1 Cor 11:1).

Therefore, beloved brothers, let us be attentive. When we ourselves wish to satisfy our desire, let us not charge this to the apostolic commandment, failing to understand the force of the word.

For this reason it is written: “Deceitful souls go astray in sins” (Prov 13:9).

And again: “For the man who sins there is a great snare, but the righteous shall be in joy and gladness” (Prov 29:6).

You have heard that “it is better to marry than to burn,” but you have not heard what the Apostle adds, saying: “The time is short.

From now on, those who have wives should be as though they had none. Those who weep should be as though they did not weep.

Those who rejoice should be as though they did not rejoice. Those who buy should be as though they did not possess.

Those who use this world should be as though they did not use it. For the form of this world is passing away” (1 Cor 7:29-31).

Therefore, monk, do not despise Him who has given you this grace. Do not be disobedient to what He says to you through the Apostle.

“Do not neglect the gift that is in you, which was given to you by prophecy with the laying on of the hands of the presbytery” (1 Tim 4:14).

Do not present yourself as a transgressor by building again what you yourself destroyed (Gal 2:18).

Fulfill your vows before the Lord, because it is written: “It is better for you not to vow than, after vowing, not to pay” (Eccl 5:4).

Therefore strive to complete your course lawfully, so that you may have boldness to say with the Apostle: “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith.

Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give me on that day.

And not to me only, but also to all who have loved His appearing” (2 Tim 4:7-8). Amen.

What are you saying, Apostle? I do not believe your words: "though I am unskilled in speech, yet I am not in knowledge" (2 Cor 11:6). Just as the words, "I am not worthy to be called an apostle," "the least of the apostles," and "as one born out of due time" (1 Cor 15:8-9), came from humility, so I consider this a word of humility. You know the subtleties of speech. This is why you borrow certain testimonies from Epimenides, Menander, and Aratus. When you speak about continence and virginity, you say: "It is good for a man not to touch a woman." "It is good for them if they remain as I am." "I suppose this is good because of the present distress." "It is good for a man to remain thus." But when you turn to marriage. You do not say, "It is good to marry," because you cannot add, "than to burn." Instead you say, "It is better to marry than to burn." If marriage is good in itself, do not compare it with burning, but simply say: It is good to marry. The goodness of a thing is suspect to me when only the greatness of another evil compels one to count it the lesser evil. But I want not a lesser evil, but a good pure in itself.

Chrysostom explains it thus: "Intending to repeat a commandment clearly prescribed by the Lord, concerning the fact that one must not divorce one's wife except in the case of adultery, the Apostle says: not I, but the Lord. What was said above by the Apostle was not clearly stated by the Lord, though it agrees with His teaching. But this He set forth clearly. Such is the distinction between the expressions 'I' and 'not I.' Yet do not take the Apostle's words as human, for he says: 'I think I also have the Spirit of God'" (below, 1 Cor 7:40).

He must still struggle, so as to give himself wholly to the spiritual life. In another, both are equally strong. He must order himself so that the demands of the spirit hold first place and govern everything, allowing soul and body their measure of satisfaction." But why, then, did the Apostle express the desire that all men be as he was? Because he wished to offer counsel concerning celibacy to those who had not entered it, or who had been widowed. Since this matter is not easy, he presents himself as a model for overcoming the difficulties of celibacy. He knew how beneficial examples are, often stirring men to imitation as if by a certain involuntary attraction.