THEOSISJohn Chrysostom
It is well understood that childlessness can be a source of immense pain for wives, often affecting their husbands as well. Unfortunately, there are many misguided husbands who hold their wives accountable for their inability to bear children, failing to recognize that the ability to conceive is a gift from above, stemming from God’s Providence. Neither the nature of a woman nor the act of union with her husband nor any other factor is in itself sufficient for procreation. Even when aware of the unfairness of such blame, some husbands still express their discontent, sometimes choosing to distance themselves from their wives, leading to a reluctant coexistence. Consider the example of the wife in question.
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If you observe that she faced scorn, dishonor, and distress, lacked closeness with her husband, and felt as if she were simply a recipient of his special attention, it would not be surprising to conclude that she longed for a child to foster greater intimacy, freedom, and a more favorable position in her husband's eyes. Conversely, if you discover that she was actually more cherished by her husband than those who bore children and received more affection from him, it becomes clear that her desire for a child was not motivated by earthly desires or to draw her husband closer to her, but rather for the higher purpose I’ve mentioned. How do we know this? Listen to the words of the writer, who did not include this observation without intent, but so that we may recognize the virtue of the wife. What does he declare? “Hannah loved Elkanah more than Peninnah” (1 Kings 1:5). Following this, when Elkanah noticed her sorrow and refusal to eat, he asked her, “Why dost thou weep? And why dost thou not eat? And why is thy heart sad? Am I not better to thee than ten sons?” You see how deeply he cared for her, grieving not for the absence of children, but for the sight of her distress. Yet, he did not urge her to cease her sorrow, for her desire was not merely to please him but to offer something of value to God.